Tuesday, April 13, 2010

KFC wants to have one Sandwich to rule them all “My Precious” or at the very least clog your arteries

"My Precious"
Behold, the KFC Double Down sandwich. It is, if you really want to know, two slabs of fried chicken inter sliced with two pieces of bacon, two slabs of cheese, and the Colonel's "special sauce." It comes in the form of a sandwich, with the fried chicken where the bread used to be. It's sort of hilarious. It's sort of perfect. And then it'll probably make you vomit....

Did you notice? How in one pseudo-food item, you are consuming not one, not two, but the mutated, chemically injected flesh/byproducts of fully three different distended, liquefied, industrially tortured creatures? Feel the love, pitiable animal kingdom.

You got your chicken-like creature, your pig-like creature, your dairy cow-like creature, all wrapped in a fistful of nausea, ready to strangle your heart and benumb your brain. God knows what's in the "special sauce." Maybe some sort of fish byproduct, just to round it all out. It's like a wild kingdom in your mouth! It's like a toxic zoo in your colon! It's like a suicide note from what's left of your brain! "If you eat this, you are a complete and total idiot

But wait there are many of us idiots who will eat this monster and gladly become part of the obese culture of I want it all and I want it now. Well lets see if this monster makes its way to our shores like Godzilla the over sized silent killer. Lets see our children become tubs of lard in the name of increasing profits.