Friday, November 23, 2012

The Bond the Jacob Bond

The Bond the whole Bond and nothing about the bond

Nkandla Gate just wont go away will it?

The last night out of two old Geezers

Life is sweet if you can still laugh

Give these two another drink

Two old men decided they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town.

After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel

the madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager, 'go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed.

These two are so old and drunk, i'm not wasting two of my girls on them. They won't know the difference.'

the manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business. As they are walking home the first man says,

'you know, i think my girl was dead!'

'dead?' says his friend, 'why do you say that?'
'Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time i was loving her.' his friend says, 'could be worse i think mine was a witch.'

'a witch ??. . Why the hell would you say that?'

'Well, i was making love to her, kissing her on the neck, and i gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window..... Took my teeth with her!'

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

So you think Elephants cant fly?

Watch this elephant get up to take off speed
Hows that for a dash of speed

Not all nuts are are smooth operators

Hey Ladies I shaved me nuts the other day! Now i have prickly pears whats up with that?

So am i a smooth operator or what?

So how many of you remember McGyver?

Click on pic for larger image
Not quite what you remember must be a time warp!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Apartheid is alive and well in reverse in South Africa

Read the below article which is just one of a raft of new laws designed to disenfranchise anybody other than a black person. In a nut shell it is apartheid all over again now aimed at anything white

Click on pic for larger version

Interesting paragraph from the London Times 
"South Africa is the only country in the world where affirmative action is in the favor of the majority (Black) who has complete political control. The fact that the political majority requires affirmative action to protect them against a 9% minority (White) group is testament to a complete failure on their part to build their own wealth making structures, such that their only solution is to take it from others." London Times 

Monday, November 12, 2012

Never tell your wife this.....

Blow Dryer Mishap:   
A good lesson for all.        

John's wife caught him blow-drying his "pr*v*tes" this morning and asked him what the hell he was doing?

Apparently, "heating up your breakfast" was not the right answer.
There is a first and a last for everything this was definitely a last

Friday, November 9, 2012

Mother Superior what a cow!

When the spirits take you!

In a convent in Ireland, the 98-year old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it.

One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.

As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader.

"Mother" the nuns asked earnestly, "Please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us."

She raised herself up in bed on one elbow, looked at them with a tear in the eye and said:


Tuesday, November 6, 2012

You got to love Air New Zealands new safety video

Now that's a safety video i would watch.....

Air New Zealand teamed up with Peter Jackson and his digital effects company to produce a Hobbit inspired flight safety video. Its seriously good and holds your attention unlike other real boring offerings