Saturday, April 17, 2010

Fifa is going to go Pigeon hunting

Winston the Pigeon takes a low level bombing run at FIFA

Winston, the publicity-hungry pigeon, is back. Still basking in the glory of his September feat, where he proved he could carry 4GB of data from Pietermaritzburg to Durban faster than a Telkom data line, he now has it in for Fifa.

According to a press release sent on the pigeon's behalf, Winston is coming to the rescue of "South Africans who are being bullied by Fifa".

Winston and his pals have "found a way" of flying over the opening ceremony, scheduled for Soccer City on June 11.

"In fact if all goes according to plan Fifa officials could find more than just egg on their faces courtesy of an angry pigeon and his lieutenants."

Winston is protesting the fact that "what is supposed to be the biggest happening in the history of our country and continent is turning out to be a coup and I am not going to stand by and allow it.

"We have even had to change our laws to suit them so that they can walk away with all our money."

The pigeon's call will resonate with many South Africans who feel Fifa has been allowed to ride roughshod over local businesses and soccer fans. Dreams of easy money have been dashed by the prospects of lower visitor numbers and, because it is so expensive to get to South Africa from Europe, the Americas and Asia, those visitors who do come will not be as free-spending as was anticipated.

So, come June 11, South Africans at the opening ceremony will be looking skywards - not just for the flypast and fireworks, but in the hope that a self-righteous pigeon will not miss when he takes aim at the officials below him.

Unless, of course, Fifa is able to mobilise the air force, in which case Winston could find himself looking more like a Nando's ad than a fluffy doer of good. Given its heavy-handed approach to such things, we are sure Fifa would, in that case, try to sue Nando's for ambush marketing.