Monday, March 23, 2015

The Indomitable Trevor Noah 
South African Humour 


A small glimpse of South African humor from Trevor Noah a rather disturbed gentleman from our sunny shores    

Such a fitting tribute to our Madiba

Madiba Tribute


I keep coming across this flash mob video which was a fitting tribute to Nelson Mandela and so i share it with you in memory of a fallen hero. I know its quite old but nevertheless still as poignant and haunting as ever  

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Death becomes you

SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda.
WANDA: Hi! Sylvia.
How'd you die?
SYLVIA: I froze to death.
WANDA: How horrible!

SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?


WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.


SYLVIA: So, what happened?


WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking.I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.


SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer -- we'd both still be alive.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

The Jew and the Arab an old love story

A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery.

The Arab steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.

He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see anything."

The Jew says to the Arab, "That's typically dishonest of you Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."

He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick." Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one.

The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?"


The Jew replies, "Look in the Arab's pocket....."

Friday, May 30, 2014

The Irish Sausage


Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money between them; they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro... Murphy said “Hang on, I have an idea.” 

He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage.
                                      
Shamus said “Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money at all!”

Murphy replied, “Don't worry - just follow me.”

He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of  Jamieson Whisky. 

Shamus said “Now you've lost it. Do you know how
much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!”

Murphy replied, with a smile. “Don't worry; I have a plan, Cheers!”

They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, “OK, I'll stick the sausage through  my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth..”

The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out.

They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free.

At the tenth pub Shamus said “Murphy - I don't think I can do any more of this.
I'm drunk and me knees are killing me!” 

Murphy said, “How do you think I feel?
I can't  even remember which pub I lost the sausage in.”