Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Whats the fuss with crocs?

I was reading this article by Sarah Britten and it amused me mainly because it is so true. However i love my crocs because they so darn comfortable but anyway get a look at her article on Thought Leader follow the link below or read it below 

Over the weekend, I did something completely out of character. I bought a pair of Crocs. Yes, really. I don’t care if you unfollow me or stop reading this blog. It’s best you know the truth: I spotted them in the shoe shop near my gym, and my mother has a pair and swears by them, and one thing led to another.

In my defence, they don’t actually look like Crocs. But as one of my Facebook friends pointed out, I’ll know that they are Crocs, and that’s what counts.

Ah yes, the comments. The tweets. The cries of Nooooooooo it can’t be true. I could have announced I was running off to join the Scientologists or having Julius Malema’s love child, or both, and I’d have got less of a reaction.
“I may have to reevaluate the friendship.”
“Shame on you. Tsk tsk.”
“Times like this need a thumbs down/ don’t like button.”
“C’mon Sarah! You are a role mode. Say it ain’t so.”

Only one was supportive: “thumbs up for you Sarah. It’s about time you Joburg jollers realized that life is not all about one-upmanship or about being fashionable.”

I should not have been surprised. Globally Crocs code for lack of taste or insight. According to this new movie, if you wear Crocs you’re a dopey hippie type, “because dopey hippie types wear Crocs”. (Just like Saabs used to code for well-heeled bohemians and Prius for vegan Obama-voters.)

A quick perusal of Croc-related fan pages and the number of fans each boasts is revealing:

I’m fascinated by this. Why is it that Crocs should arouse such ridiculously over the top animosity? It’s almost tribal. If love of Apple is a powerful marker of identity, so is hatred of Crocs. It’s become a form of metahatred: you want to be seen to hate something, but it’s all posturing. Your hatred has no actual emotional content; it’s just an empty shell within which to package particular cultural signifiers. Roland Barthes would have loved it.

Crocs, as it turned out, were invented in Canada - and not just Canada, but French-speaking Canada. Perhaps that explains everything. In any event, three friends - Scott Seamans, Lyndon “Duke” Hanson, and George Boedecker – bought a design from a Quebec company called Foam Creations, sold it at the Fort Lauderdale boat show in 2002, and the rest is history. The holding company is now listed on the Nasdaq and is worth over $2,3 billion. Not bad for ugly shoes that everyone loves to hate.

I can’t wait to wear mine, although I do plan to take precautions, and have a T-shirt made. It’ll read: “I can wear Crocs if I wear them ironically.” I’ll wear it to the Loeries next month (oh yes, the Crocs are going to Cape Town with me), and the hipsters on Long Street will see it and run screaming, clutching their now pathetically mainstream but still inexplicably cool trilbies to their delicately coiffed heads.
I should have bought Crocs years ago.

You go Sarah you go girl comfort beats style in the long run

Mermaid - Daryl Hannah arrested at sit in

Hows this for a 50 year old Mermaid

 The actress, 50, was handcuffed and led away following a sit-in calling on US President Barack Obama to axe plans for a controversial oil pipeline. Hannah — who also appeared in blockbuster films Splash and Wall Street — was the first person to be nicked during the protest in Washington DC. It came after Hannah refused police orders to move

 Hannah was among a large group of environmentalists who are furious over the proposed 1,677-mile Keystone XL pipeline. Before her arrest she warned Obama he could be voted out if he did not scrap it.She said: "He needs to just make the right decision. If he doesn't make that right decision, I'm sure we will see huge effects in the next election."

 The Keystone XL pipeline would carry as much as 900,000 barrels of crude oil a day from Canada to the US Gulf Coast in Texas. Environmental groups say the pipeline should be stopped because it could pose a threat to ecologically sensitive areas along the planned route. Hannah said: "We want to be free from the horrible death and destruction that fossil fuels cause, and have a clean energy future." The oil line's supporters argue is vital to America's energy security and say it would create thousands of jobs at a time when the US economy is foundering.

Well she made quite a Splash

BMW seems to have air conditioner problems

New BMW roadster spotted recently on a bus tour in Paris seems the air conditioner is not so great!

Looks like the airbags are OK  though.....

Monday, August 29, 2011

A New Banking Or Is It Wanking Crisis Looming

Banking Crisis !!

If the global crisis continues at the present rate, by the end of this year only two banks will be left operational....the Blood Bank and the Sperm Bank!!

And before you know it, these two will merge, and the whole place will be full of bloody wankers.

How Mother Nature feels about golf

Towards the end of a round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups.
Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden? POOF!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a beautiful  woman appeared.
She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?
Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life, better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life....
As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!!"
Then POOF!... she was gone!
After Dave recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, "Fred, where are you?"
Fred yells back "I'm over here in among the pussie willows."
Dave shouts back, "DON'T SWING, Fred!' FOR THE LOVE OF GOD......DON'T SWING!!!"

Friday, August 19, 2011

A blond a brunette and a bull

Two sisters one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it.. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word. Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realize s that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big.
She'll read it very slowly.... 'com-for-da-bul.'

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Thumbs up for golf

Two women were playing golf.  One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men.  He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.  The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologise.

 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,’ she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right.  I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied.

 He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. 

She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?

‘Feels great,’ he replied; ‘but I still think my thumb's broken!’

Thursday, August 11, 2011

20011 The year of nipple slips!

20011 has been a Booby year excuse the pun
Check out this years nipple slips
Peek a Boo

Jennifer Lopez exposed herself when filming the TV show 'Wetten Dass' at the Bullfighting Arena in Mallorca

Kelly Rowland's raunchy top becomes raunchier

 Nicki Minaj should have worn a bigger top for Good Morning America

 Lady Gaga slipped out on the red carpet at June's CFDA Fashion Awards

 Courteney Cox popped out of her bikini while swimming in the Caribbean surf
 Mollie King from The Saturdays flashed a bit too much for the cameras when leaving the ITV studios following an appearance on Daybreak
Milla Jovovich is left exposed by the sheer top of her dress at a Royal Albert Hall gala

Chinese actor  Bai Ling lets it all out at life art

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Grandmas don’t always know it all

Tony was 8 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He’d been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked her, ‘Grandma, what’s it called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?’

She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. ‘Well, dear, it’s called sexual intercourse.

‘Oh’, Little Tony said, ‘OK,’ and went back outside to play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,

‘Grandma, it isn’t called sexual intercourse, it’s called bunk beds. And Jimmy’s mom wants to talk to you.

Riots and looting as London Burns what is it about?

So what is it about? I came across this explanation in the telegraph perhaps a little more honest than the crap fed to you by mainstream media!

See original at

These riots were about race. Why ignore the fact?

What colour is Mark Duggan? Mark Duggan is the man who was shot dead by the police on Thursday in Tottenham. The Tottenham riots last night were sparked when people protested his death. This morning, I first heard of the riots on the radio, then on the television. I read articles on the internet. But oddly, no one would say what colour Mark Duggan was. No one would say the unsayable, that the rioters were, I suspect on the whole, black. Then, finally, Toby Young’s Telegraph blog post on the riots was published. Is Toby Young the only  journalist out there who will dare say that these riots are about race?

Still, one paper did carry a photo of Mr Duggan. When I saw the photo, it confirmed what I knew instinctively: black youths once again have set London alight.

Some of the black kids I used to teach will tell you that the riots are absolutely justified. A number of adults would agree with them. Everywhere I read that the protest was understandable because “people are very angry”.

I’d like to know what they’re angry about. Mark Duggan is dead. He was shot by the police in a shootout. Duggan was in a minicab and shots were fired from both the cab and the police elsewhere. A police officer was hurt in the incident and a bullet was found lodged in a police radio. Either Duggan was shooting at the police or the driver of the minicab was.

Either Duggan was in the wrong place at the wrong time and his death is a terrible tragedy – he was caught in the crossfire – or he shot at the police and the police defended themselves. Whatever the explanation, the police did not kill this man in cold blood.

Yet, a friend of Duggan who gave her name as Niki, 53, said marchers had wanted “justice for the family” and “something had to be done”. She said some of them lay in the road to make their point. “They’re making their presence known because people are not happy. This guy was not violent. Yes, he was involved in things but he was not an aggressive person. He had never hurt anyone.”

I wonder what “involved in things” means? I also wonder whether the police officer who was hurt at the scene believes Mark Duggan never hurt anyone. “Something had to be done”? She makes it sound as if the police are killing black people every other weekend and finally someone decided to take a stand.

At school I remember watching a presentation given to the kids by Trident, the Metropolitan Police Service unit set up to investigate and inform communities of gun crime in London’s black community. I didn’t know what Trident was then, and it struck me that all of the photos of people shot (the idea was to scare the kids) were black. So at the end, I approached one of the policemen and asked him what percentage of those involved in gun crime were black. I kid you not, but my question made this thirty-something white man who was, after all, trained to deal with the black community and its issues, turn pink.

He explained that about 80 per cent of gun crime took place in the black community. I smiled uncomfortably. But no, he said, it was worse than that. Then he told me that 80 per cent was black on black gun crime, and that of the remaining 20 per cent about 75 per cent involved at least one black person: black shooting white, or white shooting black. I pushed to know more. While he kept saying his stats were crude and he didn’t have scientific numbers, on the whole the whites who were involved in these shootings tended to be from Eastern Europe.

Was any of this ever mentioned in their presentation? Of course not. Just like the news about the Tottenham riots doesn’t mention race either.

Problems cannot be addressed unless people are willing to tell the truth. As with so many other things in this country, we stick our heads in the sand and refuse to speak out about it.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

A hairy parable about Politicians and why they stink

The Haircut

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.

After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied,

'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.'

The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a policeman comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill,the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The policeman was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Politician came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.' The Politician was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Politicians lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.


So you think your child is not all he or she could be?

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming..

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Architects of Poverty by Moeletsi Mbeki a stinging critic of Africa

A look back at what is essentially one of the most honest commentaries in book form on Africa and South Africa in particular, by the brother of deposed president Thabo Mbeki. It has a in your face feel and is despised by the so called Bourgeoisie
Businessman and political commentator Moeletsi Mbeki launched Architects of Poverty (Picador) at the Cape Town Book Fair. It is a stinging critique of African capitalism, describing how the powerful elite on the continent "sell off its assets to enrich the rest of the world". This phenomenon, first witnessed during the slave trade, has not stopped with the advent of independence.

Mbeki argues that the "slave trade or oil trade is known as mercantile capitalism" -- an earlier form of capitalism in which one "buys cheap and sells dear". He says Africa is "still locked in the mercantile stage of capitalism". The Mail & Guardian caught up with Mbeki for an interview.

You seem to be disillusioned with African nationalism.

The book is a critique of nationalism. There's a contradiction at the centre of nationalism. Nationalism sets out to defeat its perceived enemy. But it sees the enemy's way of life as its model. This is the contradiction of nationalism. Afrikaner nationalism hated British imperialism. What did it do? It went on to emulate British imperialism. [Likewise] the ANC saw Afrikaner nationalism as its enemy. But what has the ANC done? It set out to emulate, through black economic empowerment, white capital.

Look at the massive salary differences between the ANC officials in government and the masses. In South Africa we now have deep inequality among Africans. This is because of the attempt by black nationalists to live like the enemy. By emulating their enemy, they inherit the contradictions of the social system they take over.

What were the limitations of colonialism?

Colonialism didn't create industrial economies. But the African nationalists have destroyed what little industry there was. Look at Zimbabwe, Zambia and the Democratic Republic of Congo. When Zimbabwe became independent it had a fairly thriving industry. Today the industrial sector has collapsed.

But wasn't the strain to Zimbabwe's system first felt in the late 1980s because Robert Mugabe's government was expanding a social infrastructure originally meant to serve a few hundred thousand whites?

There would be no strain if there were other investments. What hospitals were built in Harare since independence in 1980? None. Parirenyatwa [the country's main referral hospital] was there before 1980; Harare Hospital was built before 1980; the Avenues Clinic was built by the private sector. There were no new hospitals built but more people were expected to use these facilities. There was just consumption, instead of investment.

Frantz Fanon railed against the unproductive bourgeoisie of newly independent countries.

But these nationalists are not a bourgeoisie. They have no capital like a typical bourgeoisie. They don't create wealth; they are a parasitic elite that lives off the existing assets which they didn't create.

It is the same with the BEE tycoons in South Africa. They are living off the assets handed to them by existing companies. They are not a bourgeoisie; yes, they are wealthy but they are not capitalists.

In the third chapter of your book you write about de-industrialising South Africa.

That happens when you are consuming and are not investing. About 70% of South Africa's GDP goes into private consumption. By comparison about 40% of China's GDP goes into consumption. The rest goes into investment. If you compare China and South African you can see why China is creating jobs.

For instance, in 1985 78% of footwear sold in South Africa was made locally; now 83% of shoes sold in South Africa are made in China. In just 20 years we have witnessed this collapse of our industry.

In employment figures it's like this: in 1997 23 000 people were employed in the footwear industry; this figure has dropped to 10 000. We no longer make our shoes; we are now importers. And shoe manufacturing is not a high-technology industry.

Are you saying South Africa is travelling on the de-industrialising path of most African countries?

If it carries on this way, it is headed the way of all African countries. That's why South Africa is not classified as part of the Bric group of nations [Brazil, Russia, India and China]. South Africa is not one of those countries because it's going backwards. It's de-industrialising.

What makes South Africa appear to be growing is the price of minerals. The price of minerals has gone up because of the industrialisation of Asia and that makes our GDP look as though the country is growing. Of course, the GDP is growing in money terms because a ton of coal that was, say, R10 is now selling for more. But we are still producing the same quantities.

Most jobs have been created in the security sector, shop assistants, warehousing, finance and construction. Manufacturing is now the third-biggest employer behind trade and government services. The growth of retail means we are consuming a lot. We have more shop assistants selling shoes made in China.

Where are the entrepreneurs?

The people who should become the new entrepreneurs are working for the government. Some of these make more money by being corrupt in government than they would make if they were actually running businesses. Government pays them huge salaries. Why then should they take the risk of being entrepreneurs? If the government will give you a huge salary for shuffling papers in a government office, why leave?

A director general in government earns about R100 000 a month; a mineworker gets R3 000 a month. But in China a DG doesn't earn that much. I once asked a locomotive factory manager who employed 10 000 people how much he earned. He said he was earning R300 000 a year.

What should South Africa do?

We need to put more money into education. China, for instance, produces 600 000 engineers a year. Look at the number of African chartered accountants. In the past 15 years we have trained 1 000 CAs, but a substantial number of South Africa's black CAs were not trained here. This country is not training its [workforce]. We think we can live off our mineral wealth.

But a lot of money is being invested in education.

Yes, but most of the education budget is a social welfare budget. Look at the huge drop-out rates at high school and university. There should be discipline among teachers and students. And why should students make an effort to study when they can sit at home and receive grants from the government?

Hasn't the government put money into infrastructure?

Our infrastructure isn't functional. That's why trucks carry goods from Johannesburg to Cape Town -- because there's been no meaningful investment in the rail network. The average age of a railway wagon in South Africa is 40 years.

But the government has invested in the Gautrain.

The Gautrain is transporting the elite from Sandton to the airport. There's nothing productive in that. There's already a train from the airport that goes to central Johannesburg, but the elite didn't want to use that and so they built their own. This is not an investment; it's part of consumption. It looks like an investment but it's not.

What about the public infrastructure programme that came as a result of hosting the World Cup?

It's very temporary and most of it is in construction. Once you have finished building a stadium, the people are back in unemployment. This is not sustainable employment. This is an artificial boost to employment.

To what extent is the retail boom in South Africa linked to the meltdown in Zimbabwe that blunted the competitive edge of most of its companies?

Zimbabwe has become a bantustan of South Africa. The Mugabe regime has destroyed the productive capacity of Zimbabwean companies. Zimbabwe exports labour to South Africa, whether legal or illegal; that labour sends money to Zimbabwe and then the country sends its goods to Zimbabwe. With the money sent by Zimbabweans working here, those in Zimbabwe buy South African-made goods and the money comes back. That is how the bantustan system worked.

Original Post

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Whats faster than the speed of light

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked:

"What is the fastest thing you know of?"

Acknowledging the first man (A WHITE MAN), on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of" "That's very good!" replied the interviewer.

"And now you sir?" he asked the second man (A INDIAN MAN). "Hmm .... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye .that's a very popular cliché for speed."

He then turned to the third man (A BLACK MAN) who was contemplating his reply." Well, out at my dad's FARM, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch & way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an ant. TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of. "The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light," he said.

Turning to the fourth and final man (A COLOURED MAN FROM CAPE TOWN), the interviewer posed the same question. It's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "I can explain," said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already kakked in my pants!"

HE GOT THE JOB...............