Tuesday, August 31, 2010

It seems in this picture that Prostate testing has become fun!

This is not going to hurt at all
smile now
I don't think so!
Who the hell they trying to kid? This pic is just so funny...
I mean having some stranger stick there finger up your ass
is about as much fun as having your teeth pulled without anaesthetic

African time that strange phenomenon akin to relativity

African Time
The Concept of time in Africa

Spanish singer Julio Iglesias was on television with British TV host Anne Diamond when he used the word "mañana" (pronounced “manyana”).

Diamond asked him to explain what it meant.

He said that the term means "Maybe the job will be done tomorrow, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that. Or perhaps next week, next month, next year. Who really cares?"

The host turned to Mr. Sipho Msondtlwana who was also on the show and asked him if there was an equivalent term in his native language.

"Eish Madam" he replied. "In South Africa we don't have a word to describe that degree of urgency."

Monday, August 30, 2010

Cadburys Ostrich a great take on being all you can be!

Hey man you can fly whoever you are

Cadburys Ostrich from Shaun on Vimeo.

I think this is one of those brilliant adds that is going to be a classic

Amor and Jooste in the spotlight again gay allegations

Is this real or what?

People Magazine Stands By Its Gay Joost Story
Monday, August 30, 2010
By Siyabonga Ntshingila ;

Celebrity gossip magazine people says it will stand by its report that Bok and Bulls legend Joost van der Westhuizen has turned to the arms of a man for comfort after the unravelling of his marriage to Assistant Amor Vittone.

Assistant editor at the magazine, Angela Tsikoudakis, said :” We received a call from a member of the public in which allegations of the couple's homosexual and lesbian relationships were made. We made it clear in the article that these were just allegations. There are no grounds for them to sue us”.

The magazine had also alleged that Amor was herself involved in lesbian relationship. The pair indicated through their lawyers that they would pursue legal action against the magazine for the story.

Joost’s lawyer Robert Klinkenberg said :” The allegations are devoid of all truth” while Claudio Bollo, representing Vittone said :” It is very clear that the magazine (People) did not take the effort to research the story properly.”.

Bollo criticised the magazine for not verifying the story with his client saying :” my client was not even approached for comment. Amor is currently going through a divorce and her reputation cannot afford such wild rumours”.

The celebrity couple are at loggerheads amid a bitter divorce.

If these allegations are untrue then People have gone way beyond the call of public duty and need to take a step back and rethink strategy on these kinds of rumours.

Original Story http://www.newstime.co.za/_Gay_Joost_Story

Photo composition can be tricky and surprising spot the mistake

Always check the background
Some classic blunders

Friday, August 27, 2010

Nature just continues to surprise with a Monkey adopting a Kitten!

A long tailed macaque monkey adopts a
kitten in the forests of Bali, Indonesia

 A young long tailed macaque monkey has been spotted in a forest protectively nuzzling and grooming a ginger kitten and making sure no harm came to it. The extraordinary sight was captured by amateur photographer Anne Young while on holiday at the Monkey Forest Park, in the Ubud region of Bali, Indonesia
 Throughout the session the kitten enjoyed the attention being lavished on it by its protective carer and made no effort to leave
 During the remarkable moments the monkey would become agitated if Anne ventured too near to take pictures and at one point used a huge leaf to try and cover the kitten from view
 The reserve is inhabited by about 340 monkeys in four groups. It is considered sacred by locals and visited by about 10,000 tourists each month
It is not known how the cat came to be in the company of the macaques...but lets hope the moggy wasn't found in a wheelie bin

The graphic meaning of "Markdown" not always a bargain

Sale Marked Down

Just a little abstract thought after I bought a cheap dud CD
the other day at a markdown sale

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Finally Top Gears “Stig” is revealed

The Stig

AKA the Stig or Formula Three driver Ben Collins

The United Kingdom’s BBC has managed to keep the wraps on the star test driver for its world famous “Top Gear” show for years, but now it appears that some less-than-covert financial records from nearly a decade ago may have played a role in unveiling the secret driver.

Over the years the world has guessed and theorized as to who The Stig must be, with the makers of the show even supposedly revealing The Stig to be none other than Formula 1 champion Michael Shumacher. But despite claimed spy photos and theories over the years, no one has truly known who The Stig really was – until now?

According to The UK’s The Telegraph, recently discovered financial reports place an almost undeniable amount of suspicion around Formula Three driver Ben Collins. The newspaper cites a report in 2002 – the same year the current Stig appeared on the show – that Collins’ own company, Collins Autosport, listed a major source of income from providing “driving services provided for the BBC, mainly in the Top Gear programme.”

As if that evidence was not enough, The Telegraph then called Collins on his mobile phone (Hey, he’s in Europe, it’s not a cell phone there) and when questioned the race car driver said he had to go as he was approaching a tunnel.

The Stig to be replaced?

Prior to the recent discovery of the financial records, it was public knowledge that The Stig was attempting to write an autobiography, and the media outlet was none too happy about it, even threatening legal action.

Now that the cat is all but out of the bag, and with an autobiography looming, there is a good chance that The Stig will be officially publicly ousted soon, meaning Top Gear will be in search of a new driver.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Smithsonian Museum sends out reply to a want to be back yard archaeologist......

This is old dating back to 2004 but still quite funny

Here's the story behind this... There's this tripped out guy from Newport, RI named Scott Williams who digs things out of his back yard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they are actual archaeological finds. The really weird thing about these letters is that this guy really exists and does amateur archeology in his spare time!

Anyway... here's a letter from the Smithsonian Institute after he sent them a Barbie doll head.

Smithsonian Institute, 207 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC 20078

Dear Mr. Williams,

Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labelled ’93211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post… Hominid skull.’

We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago. Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety that one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be ‘Malibu Barbie.’

It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradict your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to its modern origin:

1. The material is moulded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilised bone.

2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimetres, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids.

3. The dentition pattern evident on the skull is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time.

This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that:

1. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.

2. Clams don’t have teeth.

It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon-dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in its normal operation, and partly due to carbon-datings notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record.

To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon-dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results.

Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name Australopithecus spiff-arino. Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn’t really sound like it might be Latin.

However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a Hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your Newport back yard.

We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation’s capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus Rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.

Yours in Science, Harvey Rowe Chief Curator-Antiquities

Anton Kannemeyer’s new Bitterkomix collection, Pappa in Afrika,

Is this a Racist publication well you decide
The books cover

Story by Khwezi Gule
Original Story

Is Anton Kannemeyer’s new Bitterkomix collection, Pappa in Afrika, flagrantly racist or is it a lament for a continent ravaged by centuries of colonial rule?

Anton Kannemeyer is not racist. Like many South Africans and, in particular, recovering Afrikaners, he is caught up in a world that does not make sense. Not that apartheid made much sense. Eighteen years ago he joined forces with Conrad Botes to create Bitterkomix and boerepunk. Their abrasive humour ensured that the chink in the armour of Afrikaner nationalism developed into a gaping hole, a this should be seen as a progressive development.

I am less tempted these days to believe the outlandish claims by artists and critics that art is necessarily revolutionary, but if the Bitterkomix generation did convince some young men that apartheid was not worth dying and killing for, it was certainly a good thing. Whether that brand of acerbic humour is striking the right note today requires further reflection.

In Kannemeyer’s recently published Pappa in Afrika, an image titled Liberals (2010) is a retake of Zapiro’s Rape of Justice, except that in Kannemeyer’s version a “coon” is slitting the throat of a man one presumes is one of Kannemeyer’s alter egos. The alter egos populate the comic book. The rape victim screams: “Do something, Harold! These historically disadvantaged men want to rape me!”

The relationship between Zapiro’s cartoon and Kannemeyer’s is quite obvious, but with a few significant differences. Zapiro’s is a bit more literal in the sense that Zuma was accused and acquitted of rape charges, whereas Kannemeyer’s perpetrators are anonymous “coons”. Second, Zapiro’s victim is the mythological figure of Lady Justice in the form of a black woman. This is what sets Zapiro’s work apart from Kannemeyer’s in that the whiteness of the victim is a direct comment on the fears of whites generally, a theme elucidated in JM Coetzee’s Disgrace.

But the two cartoons are similar in a more fundamental way, in that criminality and deviant behaviour are directly identified with black masculinity. Zapiro’s may be a bit more blunt than Kannemeyer’s more tongue-in-cheek approach. That there are no women and white perpetrators in Zapiro’s Rape of Justice is also telling. There is no Jesse Duarte and there is no Carl Niehaus -- both of whom were Zuma supporters. Although the treatment of the subject is different, white fear lies at the heart of both Zapiro’s and Kannemeyer’s work. But white fear is nothing new. It is what sustained and made apartheid possible in the first place.

Apartheid, in both its ideological and administrative manifestations, made one’s place in the world quite clear; social roles were narrowly defined. For many South Africans, both white and black, it seemed the world had turned upside-down in the post-apartheid era. Even during Nelson Mandela’s presidency people across the colour divide were struggling to come to terms with a Constitution that gave women equal rights and increased protection for children and minors.

The perceived loss of power and identity that came with both political and, to some extent, economic changes has left white South Africans, in particular, with feelings of insecurity. On one end of the spectrum there are those who are preparing for war in paramilitary training camps and on the other you have cynical liberals who are constantly making buffoons of current leaders.

There is no doubt we are living in a country of excess. There is pervasive violence and rampant corruption and artists and journalists cannot be blamed for pointing out these horrors. But a number of traps are set against these crusaders of truth and justice. These are the tendency to reduce the African experience to a kind of pathology, the temptation of African exceptionalism, the equation of transgression with progressive politics and the blind spot of their own privilege.

Furthermore, post-independence kleptocracy and corruption are alternately seen by leftists as necessary and inevitable consequences of unequal power and capitalist exploitation and, by those on the right, as necessary and inevitable consequences of the loss of the steadying hand of the colonial master. In some cases it is evidence that the African subject is inert to modernity. In either case the anomaly of misrule and bad governance are assumed to be conditions from which Africans can hardly escape.

In this way the historical-materialist analysis that purports to be more politically aware than the essentialist notions of African experiences also has the tendency to pathologise African subjects as nothing more than prisoners of history and violence. Unfortunately for all their political savvy and attempts to be critical, these assumptions maintain that the cartoons of people like Kannemeyer are unable to subvert.

In the concluding pages of Adam Horschild’s Leopold’s Ghost, the author raises questions of what motivated the groundswell of criticism of Leopold’s excesses in the Congo and why similar excesses by other European powers, not only in other parts of Africa but also in the colonised world generally, did not elicit similar outrage. In the attempt to answer the question he notes that the movement for change in the Congo came on the back of the abolitionist movement. Paternalism and philanthropy in protecting defenceless Africans against the Arab slave trade gave King Leopold II a pretext to enter the Congo and to turn it into his personal fiefdom.

The idea that there is something special about Africa, even though putting a finger on exactly what that thing is often proves illusory, does not prevent people from insisting that it is there.
It is difficult to look at the excesses that continue to bedevil the continent and not come to the conclusion that there is something seriously wrong here. But it seems that it is equally difficult for us to acknowledge that there are millions of Africans who travel to other countries -- not as refugees but as businessmen and women, tourists and scholars. It is also difficult to imagine that there are generations of Africans who have never experienced war, famine or a coup d’etat, or that there are millions of Africans that enjoy a middle-class existence.

One of the questions that Pappa in Afrika raises is whether art that is somehow transgressive or subversive necessarily implies progressive politics. Pappa in Afrika is awash with imagery of African atrocities, the buffoonery of its leaders (Idi Amin appears a number of times) and corruption, but also the complicity of the West. In the world of art, as in the world of political and social satire, evidence that the audience is offended is seen as affirmation that the medicine is working.

Courting controversy and notoriety has become the stock in trade of artists of the post-1994 era. This is especially true of white male artists. Challenging political correctness has been their rallying cry. Such notoriety has been interpreted as a sign of genius in itself without really interrogating the content of the work. Among these have been people such as Kendell Geers, Brett Murray and, more recently, collectives such as Avant Car Guard. But there is a reason we don’t go around calling people “kikes” and “kaffirs” in the street, even if it is done in the name of humour. But if some infantile artists do just that, we are supposed to say they are not racist.

In the accompanying essay in Pappa in Afrika, Danie Marais makes a spirited argument that Kannemeyer is in fact exposing white fears and the racism that inspires them. And the implication here is that, because he is making fun of or “exposing” these fears, he can’t be racist. Whether his use of racial stereotypes, subversive as it might be, is sufficiently removed from its source to make it transformative is a question we have to ask Kannemeyer. Personally, I am not convinced that they are.

In an interview with the Sunday Times, Zapiro, in defence of his Rape of Justice cartoon, claims he is not racist because his record in the anti-apartheid struggle “speaks for itself”. If we say that struggle leaders are to be held accountable for what they are doing now and that their struggle credentials are of little consequence, then by the same token we should hold Kannemeyer and Zapiro to the same standard.
In his postscript Marais makes the claim that Kannemeyer’s work should be welcome because the issue of race is one that is not openly discussed in South Africa. This is true, but talk of race and racism has consequences. In an economy in which wealth and privilege are still heavily in favour of whites, there are dire consequences for “race talk” for black people. But it is easy to talk about race as long as you do not mention that attaining social justice also means the necessary pain of having to give up wealth and privilege.

It is not that Kannemeyer is ignorant of the privilege that comes with being white. But acknowledging one’s privilege is not the same thing as acknowledging the responsibility that goes with it. In a world in which artistic freedom and creativity are rightly valued above the instrumentalisation of the arts, “responsibility” is a dirty word. I am the last person to advocate that an artist’s creativity ought to be stifled in favour of political correctness, but that is not to say one ought to celebrate the cynicism of arrogant and intransigent products of racial privilege.

It is not only on the level of race that I find Pappa in Afrika reprehensible. In one of two works, titled Thank You, Black Angel, a black angel gives the artist a blowjob. Whether they are intended to be subversive or simply funny, much of the imagery is condescending. So what if the black people, men and women, in Kannemeyer’s cartoons lack agency and when they have any they act as agents of disaster -- and then serve only to populate white fears and Kannemeyer’s fantasies?

It does not matter that they are offensive. It certainly does not matter that he dredges up a host of racist imagery and stereotypes. Indeed we are supposed to look and laugh -- because “Anton Kannemeyer is not racist”.

Khwezi Gule was formerly the curator of contemporary collections at the Johannesburg Art Gallery. He is now chief curator at Hector Pieterson Memorial. Pappa in Afrika is published by Jacana Media

Monday, August 23, 2010

Crunchies that quick tea time snack favourite

Full of fibre and healthy

A crunchie is the perfect sweet treat to enjoy with a cup of hot coffee or tea,
or with ice-cream for dessert. Follow this easy recipe and make a batch or
 two of the crispiest oat crunchies


180g margarine
2 cups oats
1 cup coconut
1 cup flour
1 cup sugar
1 tbsp syrup
1 tsp bicarbonate


1.Melt butter and syrup together.
2.Add bicarbonate and stir until it froths.
3.Mix dry ingredients in.
4.Flatten the mixture out on a greased baking tray.
5.Cook at 180ºC for 20-30 minutes.
While still warm cut into squares and then allow to cool before removing

Monday morning smile

Ouch that hurt guys

Oh my Lord listen to this clown Prince Mangaliso Dlamini on AIDS

HRH Mangaliso Dlamini on Aids

Swaziland's royalty joined the Aids denialist bandwagon this week, claiming greedy pharmaceutical companies were withholding a cure for HIV/Aids so that they could maximise their profits from antiretroviral drugs.

Prince Mangaliso Dlamini, high-profile cousin of Swaziland's King Mswati III, also dismissed abstinence, faithfulness and circumcision as effective ways of curbing the spread of HIV/Aids.

"I believe that HIV figures are exaggerated and I don't believe that abstinence, faithfulness and circumcision are a means of curbing HIV.

"I believe that there is a cure for HIV, but ruthless capitalist pharmaceutical companies are reluctant to release it because they are still making money," Dlamini told the Times of Swaziland.

Describing himself as a "fearless human being", Dlamini said he was not scared of HIV/Aids.

The UN reports that Swaziland has the highest HIV/Aids infection rates in the world, with an estimated one in four adult Swazis - or 26.1 percent - living with the disease.

Dlamini's comments have since sparked outrage from opposition politicians and health activists.

Siphiwe Hlophe, national director of Swaziland Positive Living, said the NGO was disappointed by the irresponsible comments from a leader in a country devastated by HIV/Aids.

"Our country has the highest HIV prevalence on the continent, if not the world, so we expect our leaders to use their brains and think carefully when talking about the virus. Dlamini has showed his true colours - that he does not believe HIV/Aids exists - and we don't need a leader like that," said Hlophe.

Swaziland Solidarity Network spokesman Lucky Lukhele said the 60-year-old Dlamini had numerous children who had been born out of wedlock, many of whom had no personal relationship with him.

"Dlamini is a polygamist whose number of wives is unknown. Like his (cousin), King Mswati, he still holds on to backward views of expressing his manhood through his virility.

"The existence of such attitudes among people who are supposed to be role models to the country's youth is disturbing and goes a long way towards explaining why the country has the highest HIV infection rate in the whole world.

"As the nation prepares for its annual reed dance on August 27, it is important that people become aware of the lecherous members of the royal family who use it as a hunting ground to satisfy their insatiable sexual appetites," he added.

Dlamini and the CEO in the king's office, Bheki Dlamini, were not available for comment on Friday.

Dlamini's comments are the latest in a series of PR disasters for the kingdom's fight against the pandemic.

In May last year, Swaziland MP Timothy Myeni, who is also a founder member of popular gospel group Ncandweni Christ Ambassadors, was criticised internationally for saying that HIV-positive people in the kingdom should be branded on the buttocks.

The Treatment Action Campaign has criticised Dlamini, and it's co-ordinator in Mpumalanga, Bheki Khoza, accused the prince of reversing 10 years' progress made in the kingdom's fight against the scourge.

"Does he have any idea of the destructive outcome his comments can have on the people of Swaziland? He should be charged with crimes against humanity," said Khoza. - AENS

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Mangosuthu Buthelezi describes our “National Shame” when talking about the current strike action

'I find myself deeply ashamed of my countrymen'

IFP president Mangosuthu Buthelezi is "deeply ashamed" of the striking public servants prepared to endanger lives and punish schoolchildren, he said on Friday.

"The latest public sector strike has shown us the worst in human nature," Buthelezi said in a statement at the end of the third day of the strike over wages.

"On Wednesday I stood before a joint sitting of Parliament to debate South Africa's hosting of the 2010 Fifa World Cup and declared that I am proud of my country. Today, just two days later, I find myself deeply ashamed of my countrymen".

He acknowledged workers' right to strike, and that they were struggling to make ends meet.

"But every man and woman of conscience must draw a line at what they will do to have their own needs met.

"And it seems that for many there is no line, or it extends far beyond the bounds of what is rational, moral or humane," he said.

Striking public servants shut down schools, blocked roads and barricaded hospitals in protests which have become increasingly violent. On Friday, Minister Aaron Motsoaledi accused striking healthcare workers of the "murder" of emergency patients.

The deaths of two underweight babies at the Natalspruit hospital were not a result of wage negotiations, but "intentional negligence" by the nurses into whose care they were entrusted, said Buthelezi.

"Once this strike has ended, how could anyone entrust another child into these nurses' care? They have not only gone against the nurses' pledge, but against every moral precept by which we live," he said.

People were concerned at pictures of empty classrooms and the punishment of children for grow-ups problems.

However, this paled in relation to the horror of learning that a hospital had turned away a man whose hand had been amputated, that a nurse was pulled from a theatre while an elderly man lay anaesthetised on the operating table, that soldiers had to be sent to help at hospitals, and that doctors had to hide women awaiting caesarean sections.

"I have the utmost respect for those nurses and teachers who have drawn the line at punishing children and endangering lives; who are continuing to work under very real pressures and threats from their colleagues," Buthelezi said.

The nation faced a watershed moment.

"This is not only about each one's individual conscience, but our collective conscience as a nation.

"It is time to re-examine the limits, renegotiate the process and reconsider where the right to strike collides with the rights to life and security."

The constitution recognised that there were instances where rights had to be curtailed. "Are we erring on the side of liberty?" he asked.

The government has offered workers a seven percent increase and a R700 a month housing allowance. The have rejected this and are demanding an 8.6 percent increase and a R1000 a month housing allowance.

Strikes were a complex and thorny issue, said Buthelezi.

"But in my mind, when it comes to life and children, the grey areas quickly separate into black and white. Those who still see grey have shamed our nation."

Hey some bumper stickers for my retired friends.............

Happy retirement John you deserve it

Friday, August 20, 2010

The ugly face of Rhino poaching in Zululand

Yet another Rhino decimated

 The horns were removed
Waste of a magnificent animal all for a Horn

Brazen poachers put a single AK47 round through the head of an adult male rhino in the early hours of Wednesday, before surgically removing its horns. Game rangers doing their rounds discovered the animal’s body shortly after 9am, just metres away from the corridor road near Masinda in the iMfolozi Park in Zululand. This is the 14th rhino to die at the hands of poachers in KZN this year. The scene of the latest kill is close to staff living quarters but the poachers were not seen or heard.

All of the horn is destined for the Asian markets where it is worth more than gold in weight. It is thought to have amazing healing powers as well as to be a powerful aphrodisiac.

However the truth is that it is just compacted hair. The horn has about the same medicinal value as your toenails but such is the power of legend and fabel that it is reducing our Rhino population to near extinction! 

Celebrity Chef Gordon Ramsy sees his Rump

Fiery talk and overpriced food did not cut the mustard here in South Africa

An excerpt from Hilary Biller's interview

I ask Ramsay why he pursued a South African venture when in the same year he was forced to close Maze in Prague? The question rankles the celebrity. His face reddens and his voice raises by a couple of octaves. I begin to feel uncomfortable. Shades of Hell's Kitchen flash through my mind.

"Because of the global recession, we have canned many partnerships but we're not closed," he barks. "There is so much fodder and factually incorrect statements out there. It's lazy journalism," he says, looking deeply into my eyes.

I dare to ask if he is not perhaps taking on too much? "Are you asking or telling me," he blurts angrily. "Asking," I say politely, trying to ease the tension. But his tirade continues unabated and then he tells me that he has a fortune in the bank made through hard graft. So what? But I dare not utter a word. And then follows a rant about how he had laid all the foundations for his business, telling me how he planned ahead.

"Six months ahead of you," he points at me "and the customer," he says. "I don't pick Muppets to run my restaurants. I'm a control freak and need to know where we are (in our business). I'm not a television chef," he snaps.

In my desire to ease the tension, I pick on one of his favourite subjects - marathon running. It's obviously the way he eases his tension and his personality changes as he describes his five Comrades Marathons.

"Three up and two down runs," he says proudly, going on to tell me that his brother-in-law lives in Joburg. This leads him on to another favourite bug bear: fat chefs. "I don't think chefs should be fat," he says, casting his beady eyes over my well-cushioned frame. "It's the best job in the world to have when you are good at it, but the shittiest job when you are not very good at it. It's a tough game; one helluva exciting one."

A year later and Gordon Ramsay Holdings shows that his newer restaurants have a combined loss of £4.3-million.

Ramsay, never far from controversy, sparked an outcry on his last visit to Maze in May this year. Billed as the ultimate chance to dine with Ramsay (and clearly to boost a fledgling restaurant), the organisers of the Cape Town Good Food & Wine Show sold tickets at R1500 for the event, which sold out in hours. Failing to live up to the prescribed expectations, diners snatched a glimpse of the celebrity when he opened the evening and shared an explanation of the menu. They never saw him again.

Wine shortages and lacklustre food failed to impress - or to plaster over the disappointment of people who really had come for Ramsay. The organisers fuelled the fire with their explanation that the celebrity was "tired" and had gone to bed.

And fanning the flames of fury, the media coverage the following day of Ramsay's night out on the town and a midnight frolic at a Cape Town night-club did little to comfort the fans who felt cheated. Many demanded their money back.

Gordon Ramsay had done it again. Two months later his Maze at One&Only has abruptly closed

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Little Mary and the #2 Pencil

The #2 pencil...

The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil (this is too cute)!...You don't even have to be Catholic to appreciate this one.

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School . Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. 'Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?'

When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

'God Almighty!' shouted Mary Margaret.

The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?'

But Mary didn't stir from her slumber Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt with the pencil.

'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said,'Very good,' and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question...'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'

Again, Johnny came to the rescue.

This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that f***#@^ thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'

The nun fainted.

Unions and their strikes are becoming criminal and unpopular

The tide of public sentiment has turned against the greedy unions who are leaving our children without teachers and our sick without care. Now is the time for us and the government to end the rule of the unions


Meanwhile Gauteng health MEC Qedani Mahlangu pleaded with striking workers to stop intimidating non-striking workers and blockading hospital entrances.

"While workers have a right to express their dissatisfaction, it is unacceptable that lives of desperate people are put at risk," Mahlangu said in a statement on Wednesday.

The entrance of the Natalspruit hospital, in Ekurhuleni, was blocked during a protest on Wednesday.

Mahlangu urged workers to allow ambulances, doctors, nurses and patients to enter hospitals.

He said many hospital and clinics in Gauteng operated normally on Wednesday morning, at the start of the national strike in the public sector, but that disruptions occurred in the afternoon as

employees joined protests.

Full-blown strike

"The union has promised a full-blown strike from tomorrow and the department has put in place contingency measures to mitigate against the strike," said Mahlangu.

These measures included the deployment of administrative staff from central and regional offices to assist the worst-affected

clinics and hospitals.

Volunteers would be mobilised and hospital managers and senior officials on training would be called back.

"All hospitals and clinics will remain open during the strike and the department will closely monitor the impact of the industrial action.

"All hospitals have established a strike committee, which will evaluate the situation regularly and call for assistance when necessary," Mahlangu said.
-- Sapa

What the people are saying
Some comments from the papers

Anyone blocking access to hospitals should be arrested and charged with attempted murder. No exceptions. The alternative is to bring in the army and use deadly force to deal with these criminals.

We should be considering this strike as an opportunity to cut the unions down to size, as they are now totally out of hand. Instead of offering larger increases keep reducing it, going negative if necessary. Let these workers lose pay and ultimately have to return to work for a lower offer or if they push their luck earning less than they did before the strike started.

I no longer have any sympathy for these workers.
The statement "that we don't care how many die until the government pays what we want" is so callous. The Natalspruit carry-on is even worse. Are we employing health workers and teachers or merely hooligans? I suspect the latter. After the years of struggle and the new dispensation, you are so unable to serve the new democracy. Yes it is not working 100%, now let us all make sure it does - call on the electorate, on everyone, but do not make us less than you in the unions!
With a government that wastes so much money on its members (it is a syndicate not a government) then they have a credibility gap when they say they have no money. How much money could have been paid out to improve the salaries of nurses and teachers if the ANC fa cats didn't spend so much money on cars, court cases and plush hotels? Farcical being held hostage by the late Iron Age mentality of the ANC who lie and swindle and do tender deals all for their own benefit and nothing for the people. Employing consultants at R30 million just to tell them why there are delivery protests. Any fool can see why and any fool can see it's all just a bid to cream off the taxpayers. With a govt like this there cannot be a future in SA.
I agree that waste in government expensditure, including the 40bn world cup, the arms deal 60bn, the pebble bed reactor 8bn, the billions waster on crony contractrs in housing and elswhere, the over employment of people in government office jobs swelling the size of the an utterly inefficient bureacracy... all this is true. There are considerable funds to be re-prioritised even now. But the credibility gap of teachers and many other "public servants" is real. Their reputuation for petty theft and grand larceny from Home Affairs to Human Settlements is not undeserved. Wage increases for public servants are permanent added costs and have to be paid and compounded by future increases indefinitely into the future. So these costs are different from some of the wasteful expenditure mentioned. Yes, teachers and nurses deserve more. But inflation will be a feature of our landscape in 18 months time for sure. And these increases will be taken away. And if strikers have been abadoning patients in wards and closing down emergency trauma units then we should expect NEHAWU and COSATU to take the lead in rectifying the situation and condemning it and ensuring that sufficient staff is kept on to mantain so that no harm comes to people who, as Dr. Dhlomo, MEC of health in KZN pointed out, may be the child of a striking worker who has been injured and who needs emergency attention. Striking health workers could surely not intend this to happen? Its up to the unions involved and the workers to take corrective steps immediately.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Old Van gets news his wife had a baby….

Van is drinking in a London bar when his cellphone rings.

He hangs up grinning from ear to ear and orders a round for the whole bar

announcing that his wife just gave birth to a 12kg baby boy.

Nobody can believe the weight but the South African just shrugs and says:

*'We make 'em big back home folks. My boy's typically South African'.
Congrats are showered on him and many exclamations of 'WOW' are heard.

One woman even faints due to sympathy pains.

Two weeks later Van returns to the same bar.

Barman says:

*'We were going to call you, everyone's been making bets as to how much your
12kg son weighs now, so how much does he weigh now?'

*The proud father answers that he now weighs 9kg's.

The barman is puzzled and concerned and asks:
*'What happened, he already weighed 12kg on the day he was born'.

*Van takes a slow swig from his long neck beer, wipes his lips on his khaki
shirt, leans forward and says:
*'Had him circumcised, boet!'*

Amazing photos of Cheetahs chasing down an Impala and allowing it to live!

Photographer Michel Denis-Huot, who captured these amazing pictures on safari in Kenya ‘s Masai Mara in October last year, said he was astounded by what he saw:

“These three brothers (cheetahs) have been living together since they left their mother at about 18 months old,’ he said. ‘On the morning we saw them, they seemed not to be hungry, walking quickly but stopping sometimes to play together. ‘At one point, they met a group of impala who ran away. But one youngster was not quick enough and the brothers caught it easily’”.
These extraordinary scenes followed.

Got you
To cute to eat
Nature has its own mind!

Whoaaa "The Kiss" here is a biggy for a conservative South African University

Ok then thats diffrent!
What do you think

Please comment below

The kiss caussing all the fuss Mark Brown and Orn Czepan
from Stellenbosh University

A kiss between two friends has sparked debate among students at conservative Stellenbosch University.

Student newspaper Die Matie showed two men kissing on the front page of its new issue which has been met with both outrage and praise.

The two UCT students, Mark Brown and Orn Czepan, were snapped by photographer Vanessa Smeets at the annual Soen in die Laan (Kiss in the Avenue) Stellenbosch University event.

Students from UCT and UWC were asked to take part in the event by Stellenbosch society Lesbigay, whose members had not previously participated in the event because they had felt "intimidated".

Lesbigay chairman Roberto Millan said members had hoped a photo would be featured in the newspaper to draw attention to the university's gay population.

"It seems to have sparked a big debate at the university, which is fantastic. The response has been overwhelmingly positive. Stellenbosch is very conservative but there has been a lot of talk lately about diversity and change."

Die Matie photo editor Smeets said: "I had no idea it was going to be this big. But it was a risk putting it on the front page."

She said at the event there had been no reaction to the kiss, until the newspaper was printed and distributed. "They were just caught up in the moment and I thought it made a great photo."

Copies of the newspaper were ruined, defaced and slashed as students discussed the impropriety of the image and how it had made them "throw up".

Others had reacted positively to the photograph, with gay students telling Smeets it had given them the courage to come out.

Students had posted scores of messages on Facebook and Twitter, some congratulating Lesbigay members on their bravery and others "disliking it vehemently".

Czepan, a German student studying at UCT, said he was surprised by the strong reactions. "I wouldn't have expected it to attract such a big fuss. But most people rather supported the idea."

Said Brown: "The reaction was quite surprising, but I'm happy if it increases queer visibility and acceptance."

Original Story IoL- Tongues Wagging

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The perfect roast chicken i am serious try it........

Perfect roast chicken

This is a Jamie Oliver recipe that works
a charm every time and i have impressed many with this one...............


• 1 x approximately 1.6kg chicken, preferably free-range, organic or higher welfare
• 2 medium onions
• 2 carrots
• 2 sticks of celery
• 1 bulb of garlic
• olive oil
• sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 1 lemon
a small bunch of fresh thyme, rosemary, bay or sage, or a mixture

To prepare your chicken

• Take your chicken out of the fridge 30 minutes before it goes into the oven

• Preheat your oven to 240°C/475°F/gas 9

• There’s no need to peel the vegetables – just give them a wash and roughly chop them

• Break the garlic bulb into cloves, leaving them unpeeled

• Pile all the veg and garlic into the middle of a large roasting tray and drizzle with olive oil

• Drizzle the chicken with olive oil and season well with salt and pepper, rubbing it all over the bird

• Carefully prick the lemon all over, using the tip of a sharp knife (if you have a microwave, you could pop the lemon in these for 40 seconds at this point as this will really bring out the flavour)

• Put the lemon inside the chicken’s cavity, with the bunch of herbs

To cook your chicken

• Place the chicken on top of the vegetables in the roasting tray and put it into the preheated oven

• Turn the heat down immediately to 200°C/400°F/gas 6 and cook the chicken for 1 hour and 20 minutes

• If you’re doing roast potatoes and veggies, this is the time to crack on with them – get them into the oven for the last 45 minutes of cooking

• Baste the chicken halfway through cooking and if the veg look dry, add a splash of water to the tray to stop them burning

• When cooked, take the tray out of the oven and transfer the chicken to a board to rest for 15 minutes or so

• Cover it with a layer of tinfoil and a tea towel and put aside. Now is the time to make your gravy

To carve your chicken

• Remove any string from the chicken and take off the wings (break them up and add to your gravy for mega flavour)

• Carefully cut down between the leg and the breast

• Cut through the joint and pull the leg off

• Repeat on the other side, then cut each leg between the thigh and the drumstick so you end up with four portions of dark meat

• Place these on a serving platter

• You should now have a clear space to carve the rest of your chicken

• Angle the knife along the breastbone and carve one side off, then the other

• When you get down to the fussy bits, just use your fingers to pull all the meat off, and turn the chicken over to get all the tasty, juicy bits from underneath

• You should be left with a stripped carcass, and a platter full of lovely meat that you can serve with your piping hot gravy and gorgeous roast veg

Priceless how kids do the craziest things

Little boys are priceless










Monday, August 16, 2010

Justice Malala is walking on the edge with his latest rant!!!!!!

Why ANC hates a free press
'Biased media' too good at exposing corruption and looting

Justice Malala: There has been anger, consternation and disappointment over the ANC's two-pronged move to gag the media through a tribunal and a "protection of information" bill.

I am surprised there has been so much surprise. These attempts to gag the press have nothing to do with the need for accuracy on the part of journalists, or protecting the dignity of South Africans, as claimed by ANC spokesmen.

They have, however, everything to do with the fact that the ANC right now has the weakest, greediest, most corrupt and compromised leadership since its birth 98 years ago. These so-called leaders want to shut down the medium that exposes their corruption, looting and hypocrisy.

In Polokwane, the ANC had a choice between a high road and a low road. It could, in thumping Thabo Mbeki's ambitions for a third term, have elected a leader more talented and better equipped to deliver on the promise of a free, united, non-racial and democratic South Africa.

But, as happens in all kangaroo courts and mob slayings, in its rush to destroy Mbeki the ANC chose a man whose most marked traits were a talent for populist rhetoric and an inability to lead effectively. The ANC went for the lesser man, someone whose moral, intellectual and leadership skills remain a mystery to the nation.

The ANC did not stop there. Many in its current leadership know nothing but the world of the jackboot and violence: securocrats dominate the top echelons of the party. These are not leaders who enjoy the light shone by a free press. They prefer the dark; they like secrets and the cover-ups that allow corruption to flourish.

A man who sleeps with his friends' children - one of them with mental problems and HIV-positive - cannot tolerate a free press that keeps putting the spotlight on the reprehensible behaviour of elected representatives.

Such a man cannot understand or tolerate the watchdog role of the press, hence President Jacob Zuma's utterance this week: "The constitution talks about the privacy of people. At times, things that are private are not made private in the manner in which the reportings are done."

It is in this context that one must understand the virulence of the ANC and the president on this matter. Zuma would much rather have had the country be silent while he spoke with a forked tongue on moral regeneration (a programme of which he was a government leader), safe sex (an issue on which he was supposedly a government leader) and the dangers of having multiple concurrent relationships without using protection.

This is not an elected leader who wants to be examined. The continued spotlight on him, every day and every hour, ensures that he will be found wanting. So we should not be surprised that he does not like the light. He likes things to remain "private" despite the fact that he occupies a public office.

The ANC leadership is aware that the rot has spread through the whole organisation. The party's discussion documents for its national general council meeting paint such a damning picture that it is amazing that an organisation so committed to secrecy should have made them public.

But debate is one thing and action is another. This is an ANC that is ready to acknowledge in public that corruption is destroying it - but, as evidence mounts that all is not right with the business dealings of its senior leader and Communications Minister Siphiwe Nyanda (the Public Protector has called for an investigation of the man) - the party stands frozen.

This is the party that wants the press to stop pointing out these wrongs. Nyanda himself wants a media tribunal. Of course he would. The press is the only entity that has dared to expose his extravagant lifestyle at taxpayers' expense: buying hugely expensive cars, living it up on champagne and sleeping at five-star hotels. All this in a country where millions go hungry every day.

We should not be surprised. When Zwelinzima Vavi pointed out that Zuma was dragging his heels on Nyanda and allegations of corruption against another minister, the ANC decided to haul Vavi before a disciplinary hearing.

We should not be surprised. Blade Nzimande, a communist leader who disgustingly chose to buy himself a car worth more than a million rands, wants a media tribunal. This is understandable. His hypocrisy in buying himself the car while teachers, doctors and nurses earn a pittance is exposed by the press. He wants these things to be "private".

We should not be surprised. This is what the ANC is today: a rotten, greedy, corrupt and compromised leadership which wants to muzzle the media to hide its looting of the country.

Original story Timeslive/Why-ANC-hates-a-free-press

So you don’t eat turtle?

You dont eat Turtle
Well i didn't think so ether till i had a Bacon turtle

Till me you dont eat turtle now
This little gem is made from sausages and bacon and is yummy so the next time
you want to eat turtle try this porker 

Sunday, August 15, 2010

A graphic bikers reference to the difference between rich and poor!

A rich man carries a pretty woman with his awesome bike!

A poor man carries a pitiful goat with his awful bike!

Now that's the awful truth!

Hello Banana republic our tickets are booked____Great piece by Mondli Makhanya

Hhawu! We're all aboard the runaway bus heading for the banana republic

Mondli Makhanya: This week must go down as the week we finally boarded the bus to a place called the banana republic.

It may be quite a distance to go still, and we may yet be able to turn the bus around, but what we do know is that we are certainly on board that bus to the republic of the damned.

Our seats on the bus were confirmed by the most nauseating business deal in recent memory, when a bunch of politically connected individuals were paid handsomely for a mine they filched and also scored a lovely R9-billion stake in steel giant ArcelorMittal.

A brief recap for anyone who may not have been following this intriguing and dirty saga:

Some months ago the big shots at ArcelorMittal simultaneously fell asleep at their desks and forgot to convert prospecting rights at the Sishen iron ore mine to new order rights as required by the law.

It was a technicality that could have been fixed had there been a will on the part of the authorities.

The state then automatically took over these rights, leaving ArcelorMittal at sixes and sevens.

Kumba, Arcelor's major supplier of iron ore and owner of another section of Sishen, took advantage of this situation and hiked the price of the iron ore that the steel maker was buying from it.

When the ArcelorMittal guys woke up to smell the stale coffee on their desks, they scrambled to get their rights renewed and accused Kumba of bad form. The matter has been in arbitration for months.

The ensuing bitter battle between the two dominated the business media. It was lovely stuff for our tribe as there are few things in the world as entertaining as corporate fisticuffs.

In the meantime, a little-known entity called Imperial Crown Trading (ICT) moved in.

Before anyone could say "Hhawu!" ICT had miraculously been granted the ArcelorMittal portion of the mine by the Department of Mineral Resources.

It was a brazen move that would have put André Stander and Collin Chauke to shame.

In this posse that took the mine was President Jacob Zuma's 28-year-old son Duduzane, whose mining experience is as extensive as Bryan Habana's top-order batting. With him were the Gupta brothers, who own the Sahara IT company and who are now seemingly the president's new best friends.

Duduzane's twin Duduzile, who also boasts Habana's cricketing experience, sits on the Sahara board. The Guptas, who arrived in South Africa in the '90s, enjoy special access to the nation's number-one citizen.

It is said that a lot of the wild giggling and wide grinning on the president's part these days is due to his relationship with the Guptas. Members of the business delegation that accompanied Zuma on his state visit to India were very frustrated at the attention he lavished on the Guptas, who monopolised the president at the expense of the other businessmen.

So at any rate, the Zuma/Gupta crew was sitting pretty and were ready to mint money.

Little did we know that the ArcelorMittal lot was meeting these ICT characters in dark corners hatching this week's despicable deal.

In essence, what happened this week was that ArcelorMittal paid R800-million for ICT's ill-gotten stake in Sishen. AND ... AND ... included the ICT fellows in an empowerment deal worth R9.7-billion.

The stake, for a 20% share in the steel maker's South African operations, also includes Sandile Zungu, one of Zuma's closest allies in the business world.

"It is money for jam," Zungu told Business Report. "Who would say no to that?"

So there you have it. You take someone's stuff. Then the someone pays you to get it back and gives you a healthy bonus on top of it.

Even the very upright Nonkululeko Nyembezi-Heita, CEO of ArcelorMittal, put on a straight face as she defended something that she knew was pungent.

She went on and on about how she had to find "solutions" and stressed that everything was done within the parameters of domestic and international statutes.

The best quote from her came in an in interview with Moneyweb's Alec Hogg. When, after she had provided a comprehensive and almost convincing argument, Hogg put it to her that this was a "strange country to do business in". Her short reply was: "Your words Alec, not mine. I'm just paid to find solutions to problems, and sometimes you do things that under other circumstances you might not do, but it is what it is."

So it is what it is then. Perhaps one day, when we have reached the republic of banana we will look back on this deal and wonder why we did not read the sign telling us what direction our bus was taking.

And honest people like Nyembezi-Heita will realise how complicitthey were in pointing the bus in that direction.

Yes, the deal was legal, as Nyembezi-Heita correctly pointed out. But that did not make it right. She knows it was probably the most hideous decision of her life.

Oh, and by the way, the day after the deal was signed President Zuma ordered a probe into corruption in government departments. Go figure.

Original Story timeslive/Hhawu--Were-all-aboard-the-runaway-bus