Friday, September 30, 2011

Black eyes and blonde's

A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too.

He says to him, “Hey, this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?”
The other guy says, “Well, it just happened, it was a tongue twister accident.

See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blond with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, ‘I’d like two tickets to Pittsburgh,’ I accidentally said, ‘I’d like two pickets to Tittsburgh’….so she socked me a good one.”

The first guy replied, “Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue-twister too.
I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, “Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.’But I accidentally said, ‘You have ruined my life you evil, self-centered, fat-assed ugly bitch

South African 'Dead' grandfather wakes up in the morgue

'He woke up and screamed, demanding to be taken out of the cold place. At first, the mortuary workers ran for their lives, thinking it was a ghost'

An Eastern Cape grandfather, who woke up in a morgue after his family believed he was dead, has been discharged from hospital, a health official said on Monday.

“Doctors put him under observation and concluded he was stable. He did not need further treatment,” said Eastern Cape health spokesman Sizwe Kupelo.

He said the man had suffered from dehydration after spending 21 hours inside the morgue of a private undertaker at Libode in the Transkei region on Sunday afternoon.

His family had presumed he was dead when they could not wake him  up.

“The family called a private undertaker who took what they thought was a dead body to the morgue, but the man woke up inside the morgue on Sunday at 5pm and screamed, demanding to be taken out  of the cold place.” 

Kupelo said the two mortuary attendants thought that they had heard a ghost.
“At first, the mortuary workers ran for their lives,” said Kupelo.

The man was taken to Saint Barnabus hospital where he was discharged on Monday morning. He had to go in for a check-up again on Thursday.

Kupelo said this incident showed that the funeral industry needed to be better regulated.
“We need to the message across to all South Africans that it is very wrong for them to conclude on their own that a person has died.

“You begin to you ask yourself, how many other people have died like that in a morgue.”  
If a member of the public thinks a family member is dead, he or she must first call an ambulance or the police who will then follow  the correct processes.

Original link

Thursday, September 29, 2011

The complexities of the Human mind

A practical example of how the human mind works.

In the picture below, we will analyze what it represents to some groups of people.
Read the review after the photo...

Explained revue of the above scene
For young men, it's a nice ass. Only the most observant will define this as an ass crossing the street. The really observant will see the thong.

For older men, it is a respectable woman with a nice ass crossing the street.

The perverts will imagine her as a naked woman.

The wise men will ponder the presence of mind of the photographer in the face of such beauty, and gratitude that it was shared with humanity.

For half of the women, this is an ordinary woman who should not have left home dressed that way.

The other half is wondering where she bought that blouse.

The wise women imagine the misery that this will be at 50.

Children, the curious, gay guys and monks will probably notice a dog driving the taxi..
Don't be alarmed, I didn't see the dog either.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Mark Esterhuysen goes crazy on public radio

Talk Radio 702 Eyewitness News (EWN) fired newsreader Mark Esterhuysen on Tuesday after he swore 13 times and promoted his blog, Twitter and Facebook feeds during a news bulletin.

EWN editor Katy Katopodis said he had been summarily dismissed.

Although she had been unable to reach Esterhuysen by phone, a letter of dismissal had been delivered to his house.

"We can't tolerate that kind of behaviour. I don't think it's appropriate to use our platform, which is credible, to promote your own agenda," she said.

A 41-second clip, purportedly of the broadcast, on the website had garnered 35,000 views by Tuesday afternoon.

In it a man who identifies himself as Mark Esterhuysen, says: "F-word racism, f-word the pigs who killed Andries Tatane, f-word the AWB, f-word racism. We are all wild animals here, meant to live free. F-word capitalism, f-word fascism. F-word this f-word wage slavery s-word. F-word domestication, f-word Julius Malema, f-word the state. F-word the petrol economic growth on a finite planet."

Esterhuysen tweeted that he had "no regrets about my bulletin".

On his Twitter feed, he identified himself as an enemy of the state, a defender of anarchy, a proud member of the primate clan, a cunning linguist, and a master debater.

"Just like Jerry Maguire, I have lost the ability to b-word. I'll accept the consequences of it," he tweeted on Monday.

He said all he wanted in life "is for @GarethCliff to read my blog".

His most recent blog on was on the role of sport in modern South Africa, from an anarchist perspective. Other topics dealt with the futility of civilisation.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Nude Rugby game in Dunedin

A streaker disrupted a naked rugby game between New Zealand's Nude Blacks and the Romanian Vampires on Saturday. Find out how they punished her. Fun was had by all including the streaker who got thrown in the local fountain

Some of the action below beware NUDITY

Laughs were had by all including the streaker above

Friday, September 23, 2011

The soothing and psychological effects of Beer

So you see it is a mind altering drink that every woman should be keen to let her man drink look at the difference it makes to his perception

Man has sex with a Dolphin!

A 58-year-old writer is revealing that he had an intimate relationship with a dolphin in the 1970s.
In 1971, Malcolm Brenner says he began a nine-month emotional and sexual relationship with a dolphin named Ruby.
Malcolm stated that Ruby (the dolphin he was boinking in the 1970′s) was actually the one who initiated the sexual relationship.
His passionate, real-life romance with the marine mammal is the basis for his new novel, Wet Goddess: Recollections Of A Dolphin Lover (Brenner).
Brenner met the sea seductress while taking photos of Ruby for a Florida amusement park and things escalated from there.
He says the dolphin would nuzzle, flirt, and dance for him in the water, making it known that she wanted something more than friendship.
The constant “come-ons” led Brenner to look at Ruby as a person. At the dolphin’s suggestion they got physical and engaged in sex, an experience he calls “phenomenal.”
Brenner suspects many people have had similar affairs with dolphins because the animals are so human-like. By the way, beastiality isn’t illegal in Florida.
Brenner says a relationship with a dolphin is hard because they’re clingy and “require attention 24/7.” Since his tryst with Ruby, he’s never loved another.

Man there is something fishy in this story never mind just the
 fact that this guy is a wacko and nut job!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Springbok Rugby supporter shoes

I don't care if you play rugby or not, but these are AWESOME Green and Gold-Bokke shoes.
I said the shoes where looking? 

KUBER another drug hooking our kids

If you are a Parent OR Teacher read this

Be aware that there is a new drug on the market called  “KUBER” , it is disguised  as a mouth freshener and in sachets similar to tea leaves pouches.

The nicotine – rich stimulant is widely consumed by school students and taxi drivers. It is a non smoking  tobacco and is chewed or made as a tea and drunk. The problem is that it contains tetrahydrocannibinol (THC). This is the same ingredient as dagga and therefore should be illegal. It is banned in many  countries and we still seem to have to react.

It is most going around the schools. They are warning people to please watch your kids because the drug does not have a smell to it and it makes children very high. However and most importantly is that it makes them so high and stimulated and inhibition free that they want to have sex.

This is a drug that comes from India and has now made it's appearance all over Africa and South Africa. It is easily purchased at Chinese shops, herbalist shops and sometimes even in health shops!!!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Another Boys from Brakpan Manoeuvre

A woman sitting at a restaurant in Brakpan suddenly began to cough while eating a giant country-fried steak. After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals at the next table turned to look at her.

" Kan you like swallow?", asked one.

The woman signalled 'No', desperately shaking her head."
Kan you like breeve?" asked the other.

The woman, beginning to turn a bit blue, shook her head 'No.'
With that, the first Brakpan guy walked over to her, lifted up the back of her skirt, pulled down her panties, and quickly ran his tongue up and down the woman's butt crack.

This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.

The man slowly walked back over to his table and proudly took another sip of his Klipdrift Brandy & Coke.

His partner said in admiration, "Ma se moer, I did heard of that Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but I never did saw anybody done it before..

The Medical Jar Dilemma

A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count after marrying a 30 year old.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample of your sperm tomorrow."

The next day, the 75-year old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained, "Well, doc,
it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing.
Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing.

"Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand,
but nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her
mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still

"Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with
both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."

The doctor was shocked. "You asked your NEIGHBOR?"

The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we just
couldn't get the damn jar open!"

Friday, September 16, 2011

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Scarlett Johansson nude phone pics leaked

SEXY Scarlett Johansson called in the FBI yesterday — after naked photographs of her were leaked on to the internet.

In one snap the Hollywood star, 26, is lying topless on a bed. Another shows her draped in a towel with her bare bum reflected in a mirror.

It is believed the Lost In Translation actress's iPhone was hacked in March along with the mobiles of dozens of other sexy film stars.
Photos of Scarlett, which she took, are now being circulated on social networking sites. A hacking ring that has targeted more than 50 female celebs is believed to be behind the theft.

Police sources claim the leaked material has been traced back to one person — believed to be the gang's ringleader. Other victims are thought to include Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus, 18, actress Jessica Alba and pop singer Christina Aguilera, both 30.

Click Pics for larger image
 Click Pics for larger image
I sometimes wonder if it's not on purpose that
these ladies allow the leaks for publicity reasons?

Sunglasses can have an effect on your heart rate!


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Amy Winehouse bare chest and cast in Bronze

Amy Winhouse Immortalised
Looks more like Chocolate

Daniel Edwards, the famed sculptor who sculpted the naked statue of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, has now honored the late Amy Winehouse with a bronze sculpture featuring the singer topless.
Edwards' representative, Cory Allen, explained that the topless sculpture of Amy Winehouse, which shows the singer quite bony and flat-chested, was created to warn about the effects eating disorders can have on a person's body.
Allen said, "The portrait of Amy is dedicated to those struggling with addiction and eating disorders. Nobody should have to go through what Amy went through."
The sculpture, named by the artist 'Memorial Portrait for Amy Winehouse', was requested by Facebook fans. Edwards said, "I thought of her as a beautifully delicate fairytale princess, waiting to be rescued from fame and addiction, but her prince never came. I had always expected to sculpt her portrait, but I was waiting for her to put some of her troubles behind her. She had made me pay attention to contemporary music again."
The early death of Amy Winehouse had an effect on many, and lots of artists, including Edwards, expressed their grief through their art. Art and music can speak volumes about issues that can be difficult to articulate through the spoken language. While Amy will be remembered for her struggles, she will also be remembered, and will live on, through her musical talent and her special and unique voice.

Bad sex advice beware of chat room advice

On the subject of white shame another angle


Blacks should compensate Whites for giving them South Africa Emeritus Arch Bishop of Cape Town is at it again and in the news for asking whites to pay a reparation tax or wealth tax because they all apparently benefitted from Apartheid.

Along came his cheerleading constitutional expert and praise singer Piere de Vos from UCT and said,
"The problem is, of course, that some white people - out of shame or ignorance or maybe a bit of both - do not want to admit that white South Africans almost all benefitted from apartheid vis-à-vis black South Africans."

Almost All? Who were the ones that did not benefit? Again facts sucked out of each other's thumbs. As I have proved in Opening Pandora's Apartheid Box. Everyone in South Africa benefitted form Apartheid, Black and White.

Blacks had the highest literary standards and the highest life standard of all the blacks in Africa. Self hating liberal idiot, De Vos reckons, "If I had been born black and  poor, I almost certainly would not have gone to University and I would almost certainly never have been a Law Professor at UCT  (University of Cape Town), earning quite a nice salary, thank you."

I love the way he chooses his words. "Almost all". "Almost certainly". As always both De Vos and The Arch fails to explain how it was at all possible for Tutu to study and become a teacher just like his father was. They also fail to explain how Nelson Mandela and countless other blacks managed to become lawyers during Apartheid South Africa a lawyer just like De Vos.

They further failed to explain how the Apartheid government built ten Universities for blacks including Medunsa which is a unique medical university that turned out 200 highly qualified black doctors every year all at state costs, paid for by the white taxpayers. It also trained paramedics and nurses.

Since 1970 the budget for black education was raised by about 30% per year every year. More than any other government department. In the period 1955 -1984 the amount of black school students increased 31 times from 35,000 to 1,096 000.  65% of black South African children were at school compared to Egypt 64%, Nigeria 57%, Ghana52%, Tanzania50% and Ethiopia 29%.

Amongst the adults of South Africa, 71% could read and write (80% between the ages 12 and 22). Compare this to Kenya 47%, Egypt 38%, Nigeria 34% and Mozambique at 26%.  In South Africa, the whites built 15 new classrooms for blacks every working  day, every year. At 40 children per class it meant space for an additional 600 black students every day!!!

In 1985 there were 42,000 Blacks at 5 universities in South Africa, and about the same number at the universities of the homelands. In an article called "Die Afrikaner" 11 Feb 1987, the quarterly magazine called "Vox Africana Nr 29 4/87 stated that: South Africa had 4,8 million whites and 18,2 million blacks in 1987. The whites paid 77% of the taxes and the blacks only 15%...despite this...56% of the government budget was spent on blacks.

During the time of Dr. Verwoerd. the living standards of Blacks were rising at 5,4% per year against that of the whites at 3,9% per year. In 1965 the economic growth of South Africa was the second highest in the world at 7,9%.. The rate of inflation was a mere 2% per annum and the prime interest rate only 3% per annum. Domestic savings were so great that South Africa needed no foreign loans for normal economic expansion.

Even Lord Deedes admitted, "Whilst white South Africa grew to become the economic giant of the continent, the other members of the Commonwealth virtually sank into poverty." At the hight of Apartheid in 1978 Soweto had 115 football fields, 3 Rugby fields, 4 athletic tracks, 11 Cricket fields, 2 Golf courses, 47 Tennis courts, 7 swimming pools built to Olympic standards, 5 Bowling alleys, 81 Netball fields, 39 children play parks, and countless civic halls, movie houses and clubhouses. In addition to this, Soweto had 300 churches, 365 schools, 2 Technical  Colleges, 8 clinics, 63 child day care centres, 11 Post Offices, and its own fruit and vegetable market. There were 2300 registered companies that belonged to black businessmen, about 1,000 private taxi companies. 3% of the 50,000 black vehicle owners in 1978 were Mercedes Benz owners.

Soweto alone had more cars, taxis, schools, churches and sport facilities than most independent countries in Africa. The Blacks of South Africa had more private vehicles than the entire white population of the USSR at the time.

Today Soweto has modern shopping malls like, Dobsonville Shopping Centre. 2005 the Protea Gardens Mall opened. This was followed by the Baramall Shopping Centre and the Jabulani Shopping complex and the Maponya Mall. Experts say that Soweto has as much as 25% oversupply of retail space.

The Canadian Medical Doctor, Dr Kenneth Walker wrote about Soweto, (I freelytranslate from "Verrat an Südafrika", Klaus Vaque, 1987,pg 41) "In Soweto I saw many homes that costs about R100,000 (1978) and that had a BMW in the driveway. All houses are single storey. Many are recently painted. Many had flowerpots in the windows and lawn in the front. Only 2% were shacks.If I had the choice to live in Soweto or in the apartment dwellings or "Projects" of New York, Chicago, or Detroit where there is so much crime,
then I would not hesitate for one moment and choose Soweto."

The biggest hospital in the world, Baragwanath with 3200 beds and at its peak almost 8,000 staff had 23 operation theatres fitted out with the most modern medical equipment that existed in the world. Blacks were treated here, operated full state costs to the white-taxpayers for unlimited periods. The budget of this hospital was and is higher than the yearly budget of most small member states of the United Nations. Next door to Baragwanath is the St. John's Eye Clinic. The clinic is world famous for the treatment of Glaucoma, Cataracts, traumatic eye injuries and rare tropical diseases. All built and maintained by white taxpayer's money for blacks.

Baragwanath in 1978 employed 450 medical doctors in full-time service. It treated 112,000 in-patients and 1.62 million out-patients per year. The children and infant death rate at 34.8 per 1000 was lower than Harlem in New York. In 1982 alone, this hospital performed 898 heart operations of world quality. Ironically...90% of the blood donors for this hospital were whites, who donated blood free of charge, totally save black lives.
(Quoted from The Citizen, 2 April 1987).
Whites have already given blacks their blood. What more do they want? De Vos calls for a "once off reconstruction tax".. did he forget that 20,000 "Victims of Apartheid" were compensated R30,000 each back in the days of the TRC?

Personally I think that Prof Pierre De Vos and Bishop Tutu should go get an education about the truth about Apartheid. They can start by reading my Pandora Series. Whites have given blacks the entire country for free and intact. There is nothing more to give.

Today blacks are destroying all the infrastructure that we paid for and built. Then they still have the audacity to tell whites they should leave. What I want to know is who are going to compensate whites for all the
schools, hospitals, dams, airports, harbours, railroads, etc that they have built?

It is high time for blacks to start paying whites. Nothing is for free. Bishop Tutu and De Vos can start by selling their mansions and BMW's and give it to the poor white fund of Solidarity "Helpende Hand".

Kind Regards
Chris Kritzinger

See original at

Friday, September 9, 2011

The dating game and it's pitfalls


First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date:

You get to grope all over and make out a bit.

Third  date:

You get to have sex but only when she wants to and only in the missionary position.


First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date:

You both get blind drunk and have sex.  

20th  Anniversary:

You both get blind drunk and have sex.


First Date:
You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.  

Second  Date:

You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.  

Third  Date:

You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.  

5th  Anniversary:

You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.  

6th  Anniversary:

You find yourself a Mistress.


First date:
You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.

Second date:

You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.

Third date:

You don't even get to the third date and you
realize nothing is ever going to happen.


First date: Meet her parents.
Second date
Set the date of the wedding.

Third date:

Wedding night.


First Date:
You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.  

Second  Date:

You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.  

Third  Date
You get to pay her rent.  

Tenth  Date:

She's pregnant by someone other than you.

First Date:
You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have
sex in the back of her  car.

Second  Date:

She's pregnant.

Third Date:

She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.


First Date:
You spend all your money to impress her.

Second  Date:

You take a loan to keep the image

Third Date:

You're broke, she finds someone wealthier

First Date:  Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles,
Friends and entire Arab community finds out.

Second Date:

You are shot dead in the street and your balls are fed to the goats.
(No third date)

The POINT?  

Sore throat remedy or not!

Friends what can i say....
Well blow me down that's just wrong
but i bet the husband never complained!!!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

How big are those ears on that doggy

Hound Dog to tower ready for takeoff

Harbor with his record setting ears

Harbor has over two feet of ears. Does that make him a 6-foot dog?

Probably not. But on Tuesday, the black-and-tan coonhound from Boulder, Colo., gets the 2012 Guinness World Records title for "longest ears on a living dog."

His left ear is 12.25 inches  long and his right is 13.5 inches long.

Owner Jennifer Wert says when her 8-year-old was a puppy, he would trip on his ears and roll down stairs.

These days, Wert says people often stop them to ask questions, take photos or tug on his ears.

Tigger, a bloodhound from Illinois who died in 2009, still holds the record for longest ears ever. One was 13.5 inches long, the other 13.75 inches long.

Coonhounds use their ears to help with scent.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


A man who stank of liquor, sat down on a subway next to a priest.  The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say father, do you know what causes arthritis?'
The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.'
The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned, ' Then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. 'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'
The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'

With the Rugby World Cup in mind.......

Could not resist this one

Sorry to Australia but well you are..... "Down Under"

Monday, September 5, 2011

Amarula Chocolate cheese Cake

Amarula Chocolate cheese Cake


To garnish

Preparation method

  1. Melt the butter in a pan and add the crushed digestive biscuits. Mix well until the biscuits have absorbed all the butter.
  2. Remove from the heat and press into the bottom of a lined 18cm/7in springform tin. Place in the refrigerator and allow to set for one hour.
  3. Meanwhile, prepare the filling. Lightly whip the cream cheese then beat in the Amarula and icing sugar. Fold in the whipped cream and grated chocolate. When smooth, spoon evenly onto the biscuits.
  4. Refrigerate and allow to set for a further two hours. Once set, remove and decorate with whipped cream and cocoa powder dusted over the top. Serve.

Afternoon Delight not for my Mommy!

Nasty I tell you nasty this innuendo thing