Wednesday, February 26, 2014

How the "Olympics" got its name

Until recently, I didn't know this...

A beautiful young slave call girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee was attending a great but as yet unnamed athletic festival 2500 years ago in Greece ..

In those days, believe it or not, all the athletes performed naked.

To prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on drink containing saltpeter before and throughout the variety of events.

At the opening ceremonial parade, Gedophamee observed the first wave of naked magnificent males marching toward her and she exclaimed:

"OH!! Limp pricks!"

Over the next two and a half millenniums that morphed into " Olympics".
Just thought I'd share this new found knowledge with you.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Three Holy Men and a Bear

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.  One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would
all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert
it to their religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had
various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found
him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So
I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God,
he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give
him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one
arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.

In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you
KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And
then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted
nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP
another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him
and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as
a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in
a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors
running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have
been the best way to start”!!!!!.

Monday, February 3, 2014

Overheard in a bar

Bar Life

I couldn't  help but over-hear two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting  at a bar.

One of the guys says to his buddy, "Man you look  tired."

His buddy says,

"Dude I'm exhausted
My girlfriend and I have sex all the time
I just don't know what to  do."

A fellow about my age (72), sitting a couple of
stools down had also over-heard the conversation. He  looked
over at the two young men and with the wisdom of years

"Marry her. That'll put a stop to that shit"