Friday, October 29, 2010

What is Legal but not logical, Logical but not legal,and neither logical nor legal

A young law student, having failed his law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.*

Student: "sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?"

Professor: "actually, i probably do. otherwise i wouldn't be a professor, would I?"

Student: "ok. so i'd like to ask you a question. if you can give me the correct answer, i will accept my marks as it is. if you can't give me the correct answer, however, you'll have to give me an "A".

Professor: "hmmmm, alright. so what's the question?"

Student: "what is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal? "

The professor wracks his famous brain, but just can't crack the answer.

Finally he gives up and changes the student's failing mark into an "a" as agreed, and the student goes away, very pleased.

The professor continues to wrack his brain over the question all afternoon, but still can't get the answer. so finally he calls in a group of his brightest students and tells them he has a really, really tough question to

Answer: "what is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?

To the professor's surprise (and embarrassment), all the students immediately raise their hands.

All right" says the professor and asks his favorite student to answer

It's quite easy, sir" says the student "you see, you are 75 years old and married to a 30 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. your wife has a 22 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. and your wife's lover failed his exam but you've just given him an "A", which is neither legal, nor logical."*

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Kids say the funniest things take the three pigs for instance

This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.

She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.

She read. 'And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'

The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think the man said?'

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly...
'I think the man would have said........
'Well, F#ck me!! A talking pig!'

The teacher had to leave the room.

To the Blue Bulls Rugby guys what can i say....

Sorry Guys this says
it all
Great support ..
but no
Cup !!!!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

A little banter between a young lady and a so-called Peeping Tom!

Aw man this made me laugh
can not imagine which one
was the bigger bitch

Nice one Mr Peeping Tom

Paul the Octopus dies think the Dutch put a hit out on him?

On first hearing the news that Paul the "psychic" octopus has died at his home at the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre in Germany, it is tempting to think that the Dutch got to poor Paul for predicting their loss to Spain in the world cup!

Some of Pauls life achievements and highlights
1. A career highlight: Paul correctly predicts that Spain will beat The Netherlands in the World Cup final. Here he moves immediately to the Spanish box and is thrillingly decisive with his tentacles. Clearly for Paul the issue was never in any doubt. In many ways this was the perfect swansong to a predictive career that took off two years earlier at Euro 2008: Paul announced his competitive retirement shortly afterwards.

2. A less happy moment: Paul would receive death threats shortly after predicting Germany's defeat to Spain in the World Cup semifinals. Publicly he appeared completely unshaken by the experience and continued to carry out his duties with great professionalism. Privately, however ... Well, privately nobody really knows the truth, although as an octopus he did have very little actual consciousness and an emotional range that remains unguessably limited.

3. A difficult moment: Paul refuses to be swayed by feelings of jingoistic loyalty and picks Germany to beat his native England in their World Cup second-round match. In the end, of course, Paul was right. Germany beat England 4-1 to advance to the next stage. Although there are of course those who might say you didn't need to be a psychic octopus to see that

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Ever seen a grinning Hippo?

Otis the Grinning Hippo

When Jay Parker told his wife Lauren to say cheese, it seems someone else was listening, too. Otis the hippo pressed his face against the glass of his tank and produced what appears to be a beaming smile.

And when the couple exchanged positions, the three-ton beast duly obliged with another grin. The Parkers, from Little Rock, Arkansas, took their extraordinary photographs during a holiday visit to San Diego Zoo in California.

'Actually the week we were there the zoo had just put two hippos together for the first time in the tank.

'Hippos are not usually that friendly and the two they had in the tank - the male Otis and the female Funani - had been having a bit of a fight with each other that day.

'The hippo behind me is Otis, when we saw his face we just thought we had to get a picture.'

Mr Parker said he wasn't sure if Otis was happy or not after his day's ordeal with Funani - in fact he might even have been asleep.

He said: 'If you look at Otis's back you can see the scaring from his fight with Funani, this is normal hippo behaviour but I don't think he won.'

To add another dimension to the memorable snap, the picture has become something of an internet hit and pops up on blogs and chatrooms from USA to China.

Mr Parker, 35, from Little Rock, Arkansas, even gets fan mail from people telling him he is their computer screensaver or Facebook profile picture.

He said: 'It's kind of strange to think there are people out there with a picture of me on their computer, but I guess I'm just the hippo man as far they're concerned.

When a fancy dress costume is just wrong….

Wrong is all I can say

Phila the Rhino arrives at Johannesburg zoo her new temporary home for the next six months

Phila who has a lot in common with the Rap star 50 cent
in that they have both been shot nine times

Phila a brave Rhino who like a cat has nine lives

Faan Coetzee of the Endangered Wildlife Trust said Monday that 5-year-old Phila will stay at the zoo until she recovers from her wounds, which may take six months.

Although she had been dehorned so she'd be less attractive to poachers, Phila was shot twice in the wild and seven times in captivity at a game farm.

Conservationists say rhino poaching has increased dramatically because of high demand for rhino horn in Asia, where it is used for medicinal purposes.

South Africa, which hosts more than 90 percent of the world's rhino population, has been losing some 20 rhinos per month.

A South African community group has mounted a campaign to get 50 Cent to adopt Phila-because Phila, like 50 himself, has survived being shot nine times. "Many Men." It was poachers who shot Phila, in two separate incidents this past summer, both attempts to harvest her valuable horn.

"We want to ask him if he wants to become the godfather of our rhino so that he can create awareness worldwide about rhino poaching," said Andre Snyman of the anti-poaching organization, eBlockwatch.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Granny is in denial !!!!!

How do you tell gran she is past her
sell by date?
Just a tad overripe i would say

Did you know that eating Dark Chocolate lowers blood pressure?

This works for real
Dark Choc is good for you

Eating as little as a quarter of an ounce or seven grams of chocolate each day -- an amount equal to about one small Easter egg -- may lower your risk of experiencing a heart attack or stroke, a new study has found. For best results, the chocolate should be dark, experts say and of about 70% coco.

"Dark chocolate exhibits the greatest effects, milk chocolate fewer, and white chocolate no effects," says the lead author of the study, Brian Buijsse, a nutritional epidemiologist at the German Institute of Human Nutrition, in Nuthetal, Germany.

In the study, Buijsse and his colleagues followed nearly 20,000 people for an average of eight years. The researchers surveyed the study participants about their chocolate consumption (as well as the rest of their diet), and also tracked the heart attacks and strokes that occurred in the group.

Compared with people who rarely ate chocolate (about one bar per month), the people who ate the most chocolate (slightly more than one bar per week) had a 27 percent and 48 percent reduced risk of heart attack and stroke, respectively, the researchers found.

The heart benefits observed in the study may be due in part to lower blood pressure, the study notes. Previous studies have suggested that eating chocolate can lower blood pressure, and the researchers observed a similar -- though less pronounced -- association in this study.

"The good news is that chocolate is not as bad as we used to think, and may even lower the risk of heart disease and stroke," says Buijsse. "The bad news, at least for some of us, is that the amounts that are needed to benefit from these effects appear to be quite low."

In other words, these findings don't mean that you should stuff yourself with chocolate Easter eggs. Chocolate is high in calories, and, as with any such food, eating too much of it can swell your waistline and harm your health in other ways.

"This is only one small egg per day," says Buijsse. "Eating higher amounts will most likely result in weight gain. If people start eating small amounts of chocolate, it should replace something else, preferably other high-calorie sweets or snacks."

The people in the study were part of a larger study on the effect of diet and lifestyle on cancer risk. For the current study, Buijsse and his colleagues excluded anyone with a history of heart disease or stroke, and also controlled for age, diet, lifestyle, and other factors. Still, they note that factors not recorded in the surveys -- rather than chocolate consumption alone -- could have been responsible for some or all of the health benefits they observed.

The study had some other important limitations. Most notably, the researchers did not determine whether the study participants ate dark, milk, or white chocolate.

Using one of the surveys administered during the study, the researchers estimated that 57 percent of the participants ate milk chocolate, 24 percent ate dark chocolate, and 2 percent ate white chocolate.

This data, however, came from a subset of just under 1,600 participants, so they are merely estimates that may not have been borne out in the full study population.

Experts believe that natural compounds known as flavonoids (or flavonols), which appear to promote artery health and reduce inflammation, are responsible for the cardiovascular benefits that have been associated with chocolate consumption.

Flavonals are found in cocoa, and dark chocolate contains more cocoa than milk chocolate does.

"The benefits of chocolate come from flavonoids, and those are mainly found in dark chocolate, not Easter eggs, which are usually milk chocolate and have a lot of saturated fat," says Julia Zumpano, a registered clinical dietitian at the Cleveland Clinic, in Ohio.

"I usually recommend less than one ounce of dark chocolate a day -- a tiny square -- for heart health," she adds. "The chocolate should be at least 70 percent cocoa with limited added sugar."

This study is merely the latest to point to the heart benefits of chocolate. In addition to lower blood pressure, cocoa consumption has been linked to improved blood vessel function, lower LDL (or bad cholesterol), and higher HDL (good cholesterol) in recent years.

Despite their findings, Buijsse and his colleagues caution that more research, namely randomized trials on the heart benefits of chocolate, is needed. Buijsse admits to being conservative about his own chocolate consumption.

"If I eat chocolate, which is not on a daily basis, I limit my intake to a small piece," he says.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Gareth Cliff goes of in a letter about our corrupt government

Cliff rants about 'ugly Blade and Zuma's bastards'

Radio DJ and Idols judge Gareth Cliff appears to have entered the world of politics by launching a scathing attack on President Jacob Zuma and his government. Here is the letter published on his blog

Dear Government

OK, I get it, the President isn't the only one in charge. The ANC believes in "collective responsibility" (So that nobody has to get blamed when things get screwed up), so I address this to everyone in government - the whole lot of you - good, bad and ugly (That's you, Blade).

We were all so pleased with your renewed promises to deliver services (we'll forgive the fact that in some places people are worse off than in 1994); to root out corruption (so far your record is worse than under Mbeki, Mandela or the Apartheid regime - what with family members becoming overnight millionaires); and build infrastructure (State tenders going disgustingly awry and pretty stadia standing empty notwithstanding) - and with the good job you did when FIFA were telling you what to do for a few months this year. Give yourselves half a pat on the back. Since President Sepp went off with his billions I'm afraid we have less to be proud of - Public Servants Strikes, more Presidential bastard children, increasing unemployment and a lack of leadership that allowed the Unions to make the elected government it's bitch. You should be more than a little worried - but you're not. Hence my letter. Here are some things that might have passed you by:

1. You have to stop corruption. Don't stop it because rich people moan about it and because it makes poor people feel that you are self-enriching parasites of state resources, but because it is a disease that will kill us all. It's simple - there is only so much money left to be plundered. When that money runs out, the plunderers will raise taxes, chase and drain all the remaining cash out of the country and be left with nothing but the rotting remains of what could have been the greatest success story of post-colonial Africa. It's called corruption because it decomposes the fabric of society. When someone is found guilty of corruption, don't go near them - it's catchy. Making yourself rich at the country's expense is what colonialists do.

2. Stop complaining about the media. You're only complaining about them because they show you up for how little you really do or care. If you were trying really hard, and you didn't drive the most expensive car in the land, or have a nephew who suddenly went from modesty to ostentatious opulence, we'd have only positive things to report. Think of Jay Naidoo, Geraldine Fraser-Moleketi and Zwelinzima Vavi - they come under a lot of fire, but it's never embarrassing - always about their ideas, their positions, and is perfectly acceptable criticism for people in power to put up with. When the media go after Blade Nzimande, Siphiwe Nyanda and the President, they say we need a new piece of legislation to "make the media responsible". That's because they're being humiliated by the facts we uncover about them daily, not because there is an agenda in some newsroom. If there had been a free press during the reigns of Henry VIII, Idi Amin or Hitler, their regimes might just have been kept a little less destructive, and certainly would have been less brazen and unchecked.

3. Education is a disaster. We're the least literate and numerate country in Africa. Zimbabwe produces better school results and turns out smarter kids than we do. Our youth aren't usemployed, they're unemployable. Outcomes-based-education, Teachers' Unions and an attitude of mediocrity that discourages excellence have reduced us to a laughing stock. Our learners can't spell, read, add or subtract. What are all these people going to do? Become President? There's only one job like that. We need clever people, not average or stupid ones. the failure of the Education Department happened under your watch. Someone who writes Matric now hadn't even started school under the Apartheid regime, so you cannot blame anyone but yourselves for this colossal cock-up. Fix it before three-quarters of our matrics end up begging on Oxford Road. Reward schools and teachers who deliver great pass rates and clever students into the system. Fire the teachers who march and neglect their classrooms.

4. Give up on BEE. It isn't working. Free shares for new black partnerships in old white companies has made everyone poorer except for Tokyo Sexwale. Giving people control of existing business won't make more jobs either. In fact, big companies aren't growing, they're reducing staff and costs. The key is entrepreneurship. People with initiative, creative ideas and small companies must be given tax breaks and assistance. Young black professionals must be encouraged to start their own businesses rather than join a big corporation's board as their token black shareholder or director. Government must also stop thinking that state employment is a way to decrease unemployment - it isn't - it's a tax burden. India and China are churning out new, brilliant, qualified people at a rate that makes us look like losers. South Africa has a proud history of innovation, pioneering and genius. This is the only way we can advance our society and economy beyond merely coping.

5. Stop squabbling over power. Offices are not there for you to occupy (or be deployed to) and aggrandize yourself. Offices in government are there to provide a service. If you think outrageous salaries, big German cars, first-class travel and state housing are the reasons to aspire to leadership, you're in the wrong business - you should be working for a dysfunctional, tumbledown parastatal (or Glenn Agliotti). We don't care who the Chairperson of the National Council of Provinces is if we don't have running water, electricity, schools and clean streets. You work for us. Do your job, don't imagine you ARE your job.

6. Stop renaming things. Build new things to name. If I live in a street down which the sewage runs, I don't care if it's called Hans Strijdom or Malibongwe. Calling it something nice and new won't make it smell nice and new. Re-branding is something Cell C do with Trevor Noah, not something you can whitewash your lack of delivery with.

7. Don't think you'll be in power forever. People aren't as stupid as you think we are. We know you sit around laughing about how much you get away with. We'll take you down, either at the polls - or if it comes down to the wire - by revolution (Yes, Julius, the real kind, not the one you imagine happened in 2008). Careless, wasteful and wanton government is a thing of the past. The days of thin propaganda and idealized struggle are over. The people put you in power - they will take you out of it. Africa is tired of tin-pot dictators, one-party states and banana republics. We know who we are now, we care about our future - and so should you.


See original Letter here Garethcliff - Letter

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Lion Whisperer Kevin Richardson and his white lions

Stunningly beautiful but lethal

Kevin Richardson plays with white lions at a park in South Africa. The lions seem to love him.

Animal behaviourist Kevin Richardson says he relies on instinct to win the hearts and form an intimate bond with the big cats. He can spend the night curled up with them without the slightest fear of being attacked. His magic works not only work for lions but other animals such as cheetahs, leopards and even hyenas do not hold a threat against him. Lions are his favourites and its a wonder how he can play, caress, cuddle with them whose teeth are sharp enough to bite through thick steel. Its a dangerous job but to Kevin, its more of a passion for him.

Kids don't try this at home or anywhere

At three years old this boy "Xiao Hao" is massive

THIS tubby toddler is tipping the scales at a
 staggering 63 kilo's.

Xiao Hao a big boy at 3 years of age

Despite being just three years old, chubby Xiao Hao already dwarfs his petite mum and is so fat he's been banned from several nurseries because he is a "health hazard" to other kids.

Desperate mum Xiao Lin, of Guangzhou, southern China, is now begging doctors to help shrink her super-size son.

She said: "He means no harm he is just big and likes to play. I take him swimming for exercise but it is hard finding trunks to fit him and even the rubber rings are too small."

Some medics believe he may have a growth hormone disorder while others say he is a victim of China's "Little Emperor" syndrome where families are allowed only one child, who is then spoiled rotten by doting relatives.

The average three-year-old should weigh just over two stone (12.7kg) - Xiao Hao is five times heavier.

Dr Lu Hong from the Guangdong children's hospital said: "He is not just overweight but very tall as well so we may be able to treat him if it really is hormonal. But he cannot remain like this or his heart will never stand the strain."

Friday, October 15, 2010

Staying with superheroes here are another two funnies

Nice one Wolverine

No ways I am blowing this one up

Always new the Hulk was a fine uplifting Super Hero

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Whats the advantage of a rotary-wing aircraft over a fixed wing aircraft

Read first.

This one is slightly technical, but most people with Higher grade maths should get it!

This should be an easy quiz for those who have even a modicum of knowledge about aircraft.

The answer may surprise you.

"What is the primary advantage of rotary-winged aircraft over fixed-winged aircraft?"

I got it wrong,too!

Holy crap now that’s a wedding present of note!

Bloody hell was that borrowed from an Elephant?

Wow is that greedy or what or just that she likes a lot?

Two really nasty comic rip-offs Super Pedo and Green Goblins last Stand

Nasty stuff

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The mystical origins of Poo







Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The meaning of Propaganda as defined in Capetown

Gatiep was sitting reading the Cape Argus while his wife, Meraai was busy in the kitchen.

He called through to her "Skattie, there's a word here I don't understand.

What does 'propaganda' mean?"

She came in dusting the flour from her hands.

"Propaganda means like this Gatiep ," she said.

"I had three kids from my eerste husband and two kids from my tweede husband.

From you I have had niks kids.

You had no kids from your eerste wife and no kids from your tweede wife.

Also no kids from me.

That shows Gatiep, that I'm a proper goose, but you're not a propaganda."

Monday, October 11, 2010

Ok Blatjang or chutney is a must in every South African home

Now we all know Mrs Balls Chutney, if you South African that is? But do you know you can make your own chutney as good or even better and i am going to tell you how.........

There is nothing nicer with your food any food including curries and BBQ or braai meats. Its a must have food condiment just like tomatoe sauce only way better

This makes about 15 standard Bottles


600 g dried peaches
230 g dried apricots
2 grated peeled apples
2.5 litres dark grape vinegar
500 ml water
2 kg white sugar
500 grams dark brown treakle sugar
500 g onions
120 g salt
75 g cayenne pepper
1 tablespoon chili powder


To make chutney "hot", add 75 g minced hot peppers.

To make peach chutney, leave out the dried apricots and use 850 g dried peaches.

Soak the dried fruits overnight in the vinegar. Then boil in the same vinegar with 500ml water added until soft, and drain. Mince in a blender or chop up with a knife. Add the fruit, grated apples and sugar (dissolved in a little of the same vinegar) and onions (minced or grated) and boil in the vinegar in a large pot. The amount of vinegar will depend on the consistency. It should not be too runny or too thick, but like the product in the bottle. Do not boil to long, watch the consistency. Add the cayenne pepper and/or hot minced pepper, and boil 2 - 2 1/2 hours. Stir now and then with a wooden spoon to ensure it doesn't burn.

While still hot spoon into sterilised bottles and seal and bata boom bata bang you have chutney it will keep for at least three months in the fridge or a cool place

Michelangelo had rock paper scissors in mind i think

Hang onto your pants
 that's how things are decided

Now tell me that's not cool boys and girls

Star Trek voyages of the Starship Enterprise one of the crappy episodes

The Starship Enterprise
Circling UrAnus and wiping out Klingon's

Old Spock in a squeeze wondering if
he's fazer might help against

Thank God I am not Chinese they are the most repressive regime on earth see how they treat a Nobel peace prize winner Liu Xia

More than 30 Chinese intellectuals have been detained, warned or placed under house arrest in a crackdown to stifle celebration of the Nobel Peace Prize being awarded to the imprisoned democracy advocate Liu Xiaobo.

Concerns are also growing for the laureate's wife, Liu Xia, who has not been seen or heard from since she went to visit her husband in Jinzhou prison today.

"The reaction of the authorities is predictable and stupid. They have tried to block the flow of information on the internet, detain people and cut telephone communications," said Zhang Yu, the Stockholm-based head of the Writers in Prison Committee of the freedom of expression group, Independent Chinese PEN Centre (ICPC). "I'm sure they have planned for this."

The Norwegian Nobel peace prize committee announced on Friday that this year's winner will be Liu, a former literature professor who co-drafted the Charter 08 campaign for increased political liberties in China.

US president Barack Obama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and former Czech president Vaclav Havel were among a host of world leaders who commended the decision, but the Chinese government has responded with fury.

The foreign ministry summoned the Norwegian ambassador for a dressing down and declared the decision a "blasphemy" and insult to the Chinese people.

Censors cut foreign broadcasts of the announcement and police have been mobilised to choke any sign of domestic support for Liu.

About 20 of those affected were at a celebration party in Beijing on Friday night that was broken up by police. Three participants are now under eight days administrative detention for "disturbing social order". The others are under house arrest or heightened surveillance.

"There are two police outside my apartment building. I can't go out," said Liu Jingsheng, a recipient of the PEN/Barbara Goldsmith Freedom to Write Award. "This kind of thing happens from time to time in Beijing during the People's Congress and other politically sensitive periods, but it is tougher now."

Lawyer Teng Biao said police prevented him from meeting journalists and warned him not to talk about the award or attend a celebration banquet.

The ICPC – of which Liu was a member – appears to have been particularly targeted. The group's deputy secretary general Jiang Bo is among at least 10 members who have been warned. Two are under house arrest and one – Zhao Changqing – has been detained for eight days.

Concern is now focused on Liu Xia, whose phone has been cut since she left home this morning to visit her husband and inform him of the news.

"She has basically gone missing," said Sarah Hoffman of ICPC. "Our colleagues at the ICPC cannot get in touch with her. Neither, apparently can her mother. We're crossing our fingers that she'll resurface soon."

Supporters hope that Liu Xia will collect the prize on behalf of her husband at the award ceremony in Europe later this year. If she was then denied re-entry into China, they say this might set the stage for the authorities to release Liu Xiaobo before the end of his jail term so he could join her overseas.

This scenario seems optimistic given the Chinese government's recent unwillingness to release political prisoners. But the award has inspired hope.

Jiang Danwen, the deputy secretary general of ICPC, said police have warned him not to comment on the prize and are now parked outside his Shanghai home, but the inconvenience was worthwhile.

"Actually I feel very happy. The reaction shows the award has really shocked the government." - © Guardian News and Media 2010

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Amazing how animals can be so like humans

After action satisfaction

Me thinks the only thing the lady is
 missing is a cigarette

Friday, October 8, 2010

Melktert shooters oh boy these are good smooth as a baby's ass


Yummy and real good

Melktert shooters (better known as “melktertjies”) are a very addictive South African shooter. It smells and tastes like melktert (South African milk tart) with a bit of kick and can turn people who never bothered with shooters or cocktails before, into melktert shooter enthusiasts within a single sip they are also deceivingly Innocent.

There are a few variations of this most sought-after recipe, but the basic ingredients remain the same. We settled for the following melktertjie recipe.

Makes approximately 860 ml


•One 375 ml bottle Vodka (you can reduce it to 300 ml if you prefer less kick)

•One 395 gram (300ml) tin of condensed milk (use up to two cans to make it thicker and sweeter)

•Half of a 375 ml tin evaporated milk

•Ground cinnamon to serve


1.Mix well, using a food processer or whisk, and bottle, or simply pour the ingredients into a 1-litle bottle and shake well.

2.Keep in the fridge. Shake well before pouring into shooter or shot glasses.

3.Sprinkle each melktertjie with ground cinnamon and serve chilled.
Beware highly addictive and deceptively intoxicating

For more delicious recipes go here