Friday, December 6, 2013

RIP Nelson Mandela go well

Go well and thank you
A sad day for the world as a great light
 & kind spirit goes out


Your time is done old friend

Your time is done

The love you so eagerly spread has taken deep root
Your will to serve the people has never faulted or slipped nor been tarnished
Your deeds and spirit will live to tell the tale of this we will make sure

Rest well old friend for your time is done

Let us rejoice in your memory for it is a treasure
Cry not for that treasure for it is here for all to see
A giant amongst men who spread not fear but love and understanding
Your love and understanding have enriched so many it is now our turn

You have lit the way now let us use your reflection to see the way
Let us in remembrance pay homage by furthering that light
Let all who see say Madiba lives

Rest well old friend for we will now carry the load
Rest in peace old friend

By W. Jubber
The avid rugby supporter

A picture of young Nelson taken in the 40's

On July 18, 1918, Mandela was born along the Mbashe River in the village of Mvezo, in the Umtata district. AllAfrica.com and the BBC both report that Mandela was "born Rolihlahla Dalibhunga." Mandela explains in his 1994 autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom, that he was given the English name "Nelson" by his teacher Miss Mdingane on his first day at school, which he explains was a common practice within white South African institutions, where whites were unable or unwilling to pronounce African names.

In Long Walk to Freedom, Mandela writes that "[a]part from life, a strong constitution, and an abiding connection to the Thembu royal house, the only thing my father bestowed upon me at birth was a name, Rolihlahla. In Xhosa, Rolihlahla literally means 'pulling the branch of a tree,' but its colloquial meaning more accurately would be 'troublemaker.'"

Mandela's father, Gadla Henry Mphakanyiswa, was chief of Mvezo in the Transkeiean territories, and from the African indigenous Thembu royal family line. His mother was Nosekeni Fanny, the third of his father's four wives. Mandela was one of thirteen children and had three older brothers.

That laugh is a national treasure

In 1964, Mandela was arrested, he was convicted and sentenced to life imprisonment. He was incarcerated on Robben Island, near Cape Town, as prisoner 46664 for 18 of his 27 years in prison. Mandela imprisonment became a symbol of black oppression and a world-wide symbol of the resistance to racism. It sparked Pan Africanist responses from the Americas through support of organizations like TransAfrica under the efforts of the African American lawyer Randall Robinson. Mandela gained world-wide support, even from Europe. He was allowed to study for a Bachelor of Laws through a University of London correspondence program.

Mandela may have become the most revered prisoner in modern history. He would indeed be the trouble-maker, using his life to help dismantle apartheid to form a new multiracial democracy. In 1990, Nelson Mandela was released from prison under then leadership of his country's president Frederik Willem de Klerk. By July 1991, he was elected president of the ANC. In 1993, Mandela and de Klerk were both awarded Nobel Peace Prizes.


The most Iconic smile in the world

On May 10, 1994, Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela was elected the first black South African president as a result of its first multiracial elections. He served as president until 1999 before retiring from active politics. He maintained a busy schedule of fund-raising for his Mandela Foundation, which aims to build schools and medical clinics in South Africa’s rural regions. In 2001, he was diagnosed and treated for prostate cancer. June 2004, at age 85, he announced his formal retirement from public life.


 'Hamba Kahle, Tata..'

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

The art of bragging by three ladies


Three young women are at a cocktail party. The conversation turns to their position in life, and it's clear that they're trying to one-up each other.

The first one says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks on vacation," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor.

The second one says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride. Young woman number three says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have many material possessions. However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is that fourteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect thing."

After this, the first one looks shamefaced and says, "Girls, I've got a confession to make: I was just trying to impress you. You know that vacation I was telling you about? Well, it's not to the French Riviera, it's to my folks' house in Bloemfontein for two weeks."

The second one says, "Your honesty has shamed me. It's not a Mercedes; it's a Ford."

No 3 says "Well, I've got a confession to make myself: Canary number fourteen has to stand on one leg."

New use for that old standby "Aspirin"

A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual,

"I have a headache."


"Perfect" her husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository,... it's up to you!"

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Boobs and Willies

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?' 

The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, a woman goes through three phases.

In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm.. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions'.

'Onions?'

'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, 'Mom, how Many kinds of willies' are there?'

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through
Three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and
Hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree'.

'A Christmas tree?'

'Yes --- dead from the roots up and the balls are just for decoration.

Monday, September 30, 2013

A funeral a dog and a business opportunity!

A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash.

Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My wife's."

''What happened to her?"

"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

The Italian man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her." A very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood and silence passed between the two men..

The Jewish man then asked "Can I borrow the dog?"

The Italian man replied, "Get in line."

Friday, September 20, 2013

South African schools gone to the dogs

Watch this fiasco and tell me what would have happened if this teacher had done what you and I would have done namely smack the crap out of this brat. Respect to the teacher for keeping his cool

A teacher at Glenvista High School in Johannesburg has been assaulted by a Grade 8 pupil. The Gauteng education department says they have sent a team to the school to suspend the learner and provide counselling to the educator. The department praised the teacher for remaining calm.
Is this what our young society is becoming? It is shameful to the extreme!

Thursday, September 19, 2013

A sad tale of an Irish frog

One fine sunny morning, the irish priest took a walk in the local forest. He had been walking by the small stream when he noticed a sad, sad looking frog sitting on a toadstool.

"What's wrong with you?" said the irish priest.

"Well," said the frog, "the reason I am so sad on this fine day is because I wasn't always a frog."

"Really!" said the irish priest. "Can you explain!"

"Once upon a time I was an 11 year old Choir boy at the local church. I too was walking through this forest when I was confronted by the wicked witch of the forest. 'Let me pass!' I yelled, but to no avail. She called me a cheeky little boy and with a flash of her wand, turned me into this frog you see before you."

"That's an incredible story" said the irish priest. "Is there no way of reversing this spell that the witch has cast upon you?."

"Yes" said the frog, "It is said, that if a nice kind person would pick me up, take me home, give me food & Warmth and with a good nights sleep would wake up a boy once again."

"Today's your lucky day!" said the irish priest, and picked up the frog and took him home. The irish priest gave the frog lots of food, placed him by the fire and at bedtime put the frog on the pillow beside him. When the irish priest awoke, he saw the 11-year-old Choirboy beside him in bed,

"And that my lord is the case for the Defense....... "

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Tool time tip

Thought you would enjoy this educational moment.
Can you name this strange old tool? 
Do you know what it is?

Tobacco Smoke Enema Kit (1750’s – 1810’s)

The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient’s rectum for various medical purposes, but primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims.

A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke into the rectum. 

The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration.

Doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase blowing smoke up your arse.”

As you would expect, this odd tool is still up until today used by all levels of the government.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Finding my "Dads Car" an emotional ride

Cars and men an eternal fascination and love

It is always amazing how that cars leave an indelible mark on the character of most sons

Friday, August 2, 2013

Be strong darling!


A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. 

He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.

After tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife, 'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey, I love you!'

His wife responds, 'He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom.

Be strong, I love you too!'

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Cookie Green

A man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church.

'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Cookie Green twice last month.'

The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.'

Soon thereafter, another man entered the confessional. 'Father , it has been two months since my last confession. I've had sex with Cookie Green twice a week for the past two months.'

This time, the priest questioned, 'Who is this Cookie Green?'
'A new woman in the neighborhood,' the sinner replied.
'Very well,' sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary's.

At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.

The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasn't wearing any underwear.

The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, 'Is that Cookie Green?'
The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, 'No Father, I think it's just the reflection from her shoes'. 

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Happy Birthday Nelson Mandela


HAPPY BIRTHDAY
MADIBA

The avid rugby supporter

A picture of young Nelson taken in the 40's

On July 18, 1918, Mandela was born along the Mbashe River in the village of Mvezo, in the Umtata district. AllAfrica.com and the BBC both report that Mandela was "born Rolihlahla Dalibhunga." Mandela explains in his 1994 autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom, that he was given the English name "Nelson" by his teacher Miss Mdingane on his first day at school, which he explains was a common practice within white South African institutions, where whites were unable or unwilling to pronounce African names.

In Long Walk to Freedom, Mandela writes that "[a]part from life, a strong constitution, and an abiding connection to the Thembu royal house, the only thing my father bestowed upon me at birth was a name, Rolihlahla. In Xhosa, Rolihlahla literally means 'pulling the branch of a tree,' but its colloquial meaning more accurately would be 'troublemaker.'"

Mandela's father, Gadla Henry Mphakanyiswa, was chief of Mvezo in the Transkeiean territories, and from the African indigenous Thembu royal family line. His mother was Nosekeni Fanny, the third of his father's four wives. Mandela was one of thirteen children and had three older brothers.

That laugh is a national treasure

In 1964, Mandela was arrested, he was convicted and sentenced to life imprisonment. He was incarcerated on Robben Island, near Cape Town, as prisoner 46664 for 18 of his 27 years in prison. Mandela imprisonment became a symbol of black oppression and a world-wide symbol of the resistance to racism. It sparked Pan Africanist responses from the Americas through support of organizations like TransAfrica under the efforts of the African American lawyer Randall Robinson. Mandela gained world-wide support, even from Europe. He was allowed to study for a Bachelor of Laws through a University of London correspondence program.

Mandela may have become the most revered prisoner in modern history. He would indeed be the trouble-maker, using his life to help dismantle apartheid to form a new multiracial democracy. In 1990, Nelson Mandela was released from prison under then leadership of his country's president Frederik Willem de Klerk. By July 1991, he was elected president of the ANC. In 1993, Mandela and de Klerk were both awarded Nobel Peace Prizes.

The most Iconic smile in the world

On May 10, 1994, Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela was elected the first black South African president as a result of its first multiracial elections. He served as president until 1999 before retiring from active politics. He maintained a busy schedule of fund-raising for his Mandela Foundation, which aims to build schools and medical clinics in South Africa’s rural regions. In 2001, he was diagnosed and treated for prostate cancer. June 2004, at age 85, he announced his formal retirement from public life.

We wish you smiles hope and love for your
birthday Madiba

Monday, July 15, 2013

Myron and the tax man



MYRON Greenberg, a wealthy S.A. businessman receives a letter from SARS advising him that he is about to be audited. 

This really upsets him, so he calls his Accountant.
MYRON: (pleading): 
“Why are they doing to me? Why are they doing this to me?”
Accountant
 (calming); “Myron, don’t worry about it. I’ve got all the receipts, the account is up to date, it’s no problem.But let me give you a bit of advice. When you go to the Audit, make a bad impression.Wear the crummiest, dirtiest clothes you’ve got.  Have holes in your shoes, rippedpants and look shabby .   I mean really look terrible, because if they have a little
sympathy, they’ll go easy on you.

Then Myron called his Lawyer  . His Lawyer said:
  “MYRON it’s no problem, I’m sure
they got the receipts, I’m sure everything is up to date, you’ve got a great accountant,
Ken Scher, don’t worry about it.   Let me give you a tip. When you go to the Audit, it’s
very important that you make a good impression.  Wear your best suit, and your shirt
with a silk tie and cuff links and shine your shoes, look like somebody.
Because if you look like a somebody they respect you and will go easy on you.”
And now he’s torn.  So he goes to see his RABBI and he told the Rabbi the story.

RABBI: 
“Myron, it reminds me of sometimes when I perform a wedding. The bride’s
father will tell his daughter that on her wedding night, to wear a nightgown with a
high collar and long sleeves and a full-length robe... cover up, you know, be a little
demure. But the mother says, ‘Don’t be silly. Wear a low cut“negligee” with the cleavage
sticking out --- look a little sexy’

       …. and Myron I will say to you just like I say to the Bride on her wedding night,
it makes no difference what you wear, you’re gonna get fucked”…. 

Friday, July 12, 2013

Sharknado one lame brain dead movie

This is actually hilarious its so bad..... 



Released last week in the states

This trailer is going viral as one of the worst movies ever made and will probably attain cult status for that reason well take a look and decide for yourself

Sharknado - written by a guy called Thunder Levin (that's his real name, apparently) and directed by the guy who did the make-up for Scarecrow Slayer and The Revolting Dead (yes, those two...), is pretty much what you think it's going to be - sharks, caught up in an almighty TORNADO, and then landing on people.

Alien discovered in Plettenburg Bay

One ugly assed creature

A strange discovery in Africa recently had locals questioning if there was an alien in their midst.

Some mockingly described it as a Die Antwood  a radical South African band. Others thought it might be a Tokeloshe a fabled African monster. There were even people rekoning that it must be a half man half monkey!

But in the end Dr Magdalena Braum, of The Crags Veterinary Clinic, didn't flinch when the creature was placed before her for an autopsy.
It was found by a tourist at a nature reserve and given to SA National Parks officials.
"What I saw is not uncommon," Braum said.
She said the creature had died from being bitten in the head and that its body was elongated because its grieving mother had carried it for weeks after its death.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Sleeping arrangements and wisdom


SLEEPING WITH MICK:

The guys were on a bike tour. No one wanted to room with Mick,  because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Mick  and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess  and his eyes all bloodshot.

They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Mick snored so loudly, I just sat up  and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.

They said, "Man, what happened to you?  You look awful!  He said,  'Man, that Mick shakes the roof with his snoring.
I just watched him all night."

The third night was Bill's turn. He was a tanned, older biker, a man's man…
The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it.
They said, "Man, what happened?"

He said, "Well, we got ready for bed.
I went and tucked Mick into bed, patted him on the arse  and kissed him good night on the lips.

Mick sat up and watched me all night."

With age comes wisdom.

Friday, June 28, 2013

Open letter the media gone mad on the Mandela situation


Richard Poplak. Picture: Twitter.
This open letter appeared in the The Daily Maverick. 
It is a take that is kind of crazy but in many respects true the foreign media are probably onto the biggest media story of the 21st century and nothing will stop them. Anyway read it but i must reiterate that it is in no way the opinion of this blog, it is however interesting. The contents provide a fine primer on what to expect in the next few days


By Richard Poplak

Dear South Africa,

Please get the fuck out of the way.
Wait, that probably came out wrong. Let us explain.

As you may have noted, we’re back! It’s been four long months since the Oscar Pistorious bail hearing thing, and just as we were forgetting just how crappy the Internet connections are in Johannestoria, the Mandela story breaks.

We feel that it is vital locals understand just how big a deal this is for us. In the real world—far away from your sleepy backwater—news works on a 24-hour cycle. That single shot of a hospital with people occasionally going into and out of the front door, while a reporter describes exactly what is happening—at length and in detail? That’s our bread and butter. It’s what we do.

And you need to get out of the way while we do it.

It’s nothing personal. In fact, we couldn’t do this successfully without you. In many cases, our footage is made more compelling by your presence. Specifically, we are fond of small black children praying and/or singing in unison. Equally telegenic are the Aryan ubermensch blonde kids also praying/singing, who help underscore the theme that Mandela united people of all races under a Rainbow umbrella.

Also very important, thematically speaking, are Mandela’s successors. We very much like the idea that your ex-president was “one of a kind”, and that despite his best efforts, the current batch of idiots prove that he was an exceptional presence, sui generis, and we don’t have to worry about someone else like him coming along in Africa ever again. We enjoy your leaders’ bumbling ways, their daft non-sequiturs, the glint of their Beijing-bought Breitlings. That “Vote ANC” truck parked outside the hospital? If that doesn’t speak to moral degeneration of the first order, what does? In other words, this story would lack a tragic arc without Jacob Zuma. May he keep on keeping on.

Then there’s the Mandela’s family. Really, where would we derive our soap operatic undertones if it weren’t for the infighting and the blinged-up brashness of that clan? We love subtly implying that a saint sired a generation of professional shoppers and no-goodnicks. In our biz, we call that “irony”. Makes for great copy.

In fact, we love everything about the country that doesn’t live up to Mandela’s legacy. We will take every opportunity to mention how everything you do flies in the face of everything Mandela would’ve wanted from his people—how you’re basically a nation of under-achieving screw-ups. All of this is fantastic, we thank you profusely for your individual and collective contributions to this essential storyline, and urge you to keep squandering your potential.

But like we said, we’re busy.

We need to be fed, constantly and without respite, big juicy mouthfuls of new information regarding every aspect of the story. Each piece of data, no matter how seemingly trivial or inane, is to us the rich, fatty gravy that we will slather over this one essential fact: the father of your nation is gravely ill, and we’re banking—literally, banking—on his not making it. The geraniums in the hospital planter, beating the chill of winter? Metaphor. Again—no detail too small.

Indeed, you need to brace yourselves. We’re about to engage in the single greatest orgy of industrial-grade mourning porn the world has ever known. Your little country will forever be honoured as the site that made the Princess Diana thing look like a restrained wake for a loathed spinster who perished alone on a desert island. Oh man, this is going to be big.

But that’s then. For the meantime, we need you to behave yourselves. We’re going to be pushy, and we make no apologies for it. This is the news—and news, after all, is the concrete foundation of democracy, a principle Mandela was willing to die for long before he was dying.

Note the solemn tone of our television reports. Ken the funereal passages published in our great papers. At times, the scramble for information may seem like a pursuit entirely free of dignity. But remember that watching a sausage get made can be a grisly process.

We would like to respect the fact that you’re going through a period of great sadness and protracted grieving. But we all need to be grown-ups about this.
So, we ask again, and this time with feeling:
Please. Get the fuck out of the way.

Monday, June 24, 2013

The winds of time and old age


Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.

One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."

The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome.He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."

Since they couldn't agree, they decided to ask the old man.

They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk. But we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"

The old man said, "I'll tell you. But first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."

The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."

The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."

The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."

The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."

So they asked him, "Well, old-timer, what do you have?"

The old man said,

"I thought it was WIND - but I was wrong, too!"

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Cookie Thumper "Die Antwords" latest offering!

SA's zef rap-rave crew have released their latest music video, a love story with an ending that is sure to shock. As always these guys are way south of everybody else..


Strange as always...

Friday, June 14, 2013

Why Entitlement Mentality is destroying us

A piece written in News 24 Voices by a thinking gentleman who calls it as is Original link http://voices.news24.com/phorane

----------------------------------------------

Entitlement mentality – our black nation crippler

Phorane

 

JHB based Production PLanning & Logistics manager.

So, for almost a century, dark-skinned South African citizens (blacks, Indians and coloureds) were disenfranchised by previous regimes, through policies that were designed to segregate along race lines. Then democracy dawned and the shoe is now on the other foot..
First we got equal rights, through our national constitution (one of the best in the world I hear); later in the day we received Affirmative Action in the workplace, followed by BEE (later B-BB EE). Then we came back and received a variety of grants to a whole bunch of deserving citizens. To top it all up, we started enjoying government tenders which were given to deserving previously disadvantaged groups, with the view to re-distribute the country’s wealth and equalise the economic wealth floating around.
As if on cue, a certain mentality started to appear within the black communities: the entitlement mentality. The ideology that black people are entitled to a host of benefits and some misbehaviour, just because in the past benefits were given to non-blacks; for example:
Public servants are entitled to hold on to positions in government (even if they are unable or willing to do the actual job), people are entitled to get grants, people are entitled to act above the law; just because they were oppressed during the apartheid years. In my opinion this is a nation destroyer of note.
Police are entitled to bribes, because they earn ‘low salaries’. Nurses are entitled to strike, at the expense of patients, even though this should actually be an essential service. Teachers are entitled to abscond from their teaching positions even while present at work just because they can and the government is powerless to put them in their place.
People are entitled to be in positions in the public sector (cadre deployment) because they are of the colour skin that was previously segregated against, but also because they belong to the party that fought for the liberation of the people. As a result, we ended up with a public service that is a dismal failure in action. Education has gone to the dogs, I mean we can’t even deliver a textbook; health service is on the verge of crippled, social services are almost non-existent. But no one is taken to task for this absolute chaos; just because they are entitled to be in government.
Because people feel that they are entitled to better, no matter their education and skills level, in the township, some economic activities in the informal employment sector are looked down upon. Jobs like hairdressers, hawking, shoe repairs (etc.) are not pursued because apparently they don’t hold the standard to which people feel they are entitled to. This is one of the reasons why foreigners come into this country, get immersed in these activities and end up making a better living than the locals. The next thing, the locals get jealous and go after the foreigners under the guise of xenophobia.
In the workplace, some people feel that they are entitled to equal pay, no matter their level of skills, education or experience and no matter what their performance is in those positions. Hence productivity is so low in our businesses and labour costs are so high relative to skill and experience and relative to productivity. And we wonder why businesses find it better to import goods from places like China, where pay for performance is a standard and people don’t feel entitled to anything other than that which they worked for and deserve.
Enter the ruling party and entitlement takes a different dimension altogether; one would think that the ruling party was the only party that fought the liberation war. Just because they fought for the liberation of the masses, they are entitled to be in power; it doesn’t matter that they are doing a shoddy job of public service delivery; the public must just tolerate them because as struggle veterans, they are entitled to govern. God forbid that one points to their weaknesses and the impact of their lack of commitment to service delivery; then one is labelled a demagogue or a counter-revolutionary.
Then enter the president and his umpteen wives. The man, who is entitled to marry as many wives as he wants, at a cost to the tax payer; because first he was in jail for fighting for “the liberation of the people”. Secondly, he belongs to a party that is entitled to govern because they fought for the liberation of the people. The man that is entitled to live in a mansion on the hill, while a stone throw away from his house, people are suffering and living in unacceptable conditions.
One could easily blame this mentality on the lack of education; I blame it on the lack of directive leadership from our political leaders. Over time, I came to the conclusion that the political leaders of the ruling party are only in it for the money, not because they are committed to improving the lives of ordinary citizens of this country. To think that after 20 years of democracy, the country’s wealth is still distributed unevenly; we are one of the most unequal societies in the world; for an economy as developed as ours that is shocking. Someone once said ‘the rich are getting richer while the poor are getting poorer’. It’s sad but this is the reality of life in South Africa.
Black people need to find a way to channel their energies into the positive moulding of our society. People must be accountable for their actions, or lack thereof. Respect for the law is the starting point; if we do not respect the same laws we voted into being when we voted for democracy, we are cutting our own noses to spite our faces.
For me, come election year, I will vote with my head like I usually do. I am not voting for people that do nothing for me and yet feel entitled to my vote.
“Oh hell no, this madness must come to an end now!!!!”.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

An old farmer and a clever lawyer do battle


One lawyer who should have ducked

A big-city, Johanesburg lawyer went duck hunting in the bush near the small rural Natal town of Vryheid.  He shot  and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other  side of a  fence.  As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up in his pickup and asked him what he was doing. The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."  

The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the biggest and best trial attorneys in South Africa and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, Apparently, you don't know how we do things in the Natal bush. We settle small disagreements like this with the
Natal Three-Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Natal three-Kick Rule?" The Farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old farmer. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed out of the pickup and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face. The poor lawyer was flat on his belly when the
farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot now it's my turn."

The farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up...... You can have the duck."