Friday, April 29, 2011

Thursday, April 28, 2011

South African Police do it again another Innocent shot dead

Madness in the police force

A car guard who said he witnessed the shooting of an unarmed civilian outside the Kempton Park police station, east of Johannesburg, told the Star newspaper that the policeman refused to call an ambulance.

Sipho Baloyi, had been helping Jeanette Odendaal (45) to park her car when she crashed into a stationary police vehicle. He said a police sergeant had then shot her after Baloyi alerted the police to the accident in the parking lot.

"A sergeant came around from the charge office and walked out of the station. He didn't say anything, but walked to her passenger window. He shot her upper arm and it looked like the bullet went through her breast and out of her chest," said Baloyi.

The police officer then walked back into the police station, but returned a few seconds later.

Baloyi said he pleaded with the sergeant to call emergency services.

But, said Baloyi, the sergeant told him: "She's dying already, there's no point in calling the ambulance."

He said other police officers had then arrived and demanded to know from the sergeant why he had shot her. The sergeant then allegedly burst into tears.

Beeld newspaper reported that Odendaal, who lived in Aston Manor, a few kilometres from the police station, had wanted to report a case of disturbance of the peace.

The Star said her family were expected to arrive from Middelburg in Mpumalanga on Thursday to identify her body.

The Independent Complaints Directorate (ICD) said on Wednesday that the sergeant had been arrested and would appear in court soon.

It was believed that he mistook the noise of the crash for gun shots. - Sapa

Original post

PessimistInc: This is becoming all to frequent from our happy shooters the SAP. It is becoming a tossup as to whether you should be more afraid of the criminals or the police? Either way the citizens of South Africa are the losers!

These things remind me of something?

Supposedly these are spores but they remind me of
Something else....

Buggered If I Can Remember What?

T-Mobile's spoof of the Royal Wedding

Well this one is so funny and well done it's simply brilliant

Oh crap BMW rejected my application

Dear Applicant

Thank you for your interest in the new BMW

BMW acknowledges your dream of owning one of our new sport packages.

We however regret to inform you that after looking at your payslip even after your Bonus, and incentives your application was unsuccessful and you can never afford a BMW as requested in the near future.

We appreciate your dreams and your desires but our brand is not for third class plebs like yourself. We would be glad if you don't insult us further with your requests and pay slip again.

We have attached your payslip to this email to rid ourselves of it.

I have also taken the liberty and forwarded your details to TATA for consideration this might be more commensurate with your remuneration


General Manager: BMW Brand Management

  Attached Image of your payslip


Thursday, April 21, 2011

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The gift of a taser

 A truly touching story...truly touching!
This is just a joke but take note there are sick people out there

I met a girl in the park the other evening.

There was an instant spark between us

and she immediately dropped to her knees,

and laid on the grass at my feet.

As we lay there making love, I thought

"These Taser guns are well worth the money."

Nasty stuff but thats how some perverts roll

Chicken cordon bleu simple but stylish

6 chicken breasts (no bone or skin)
6 slices ham of your choice
6 cheese slices of your choice
1 1/2 cup bread crumbs1 1/2 cup flour
1/2 cup finely grated Parmesan (optional)
Salt and pepper to taste
Beaten egg for egg wash

Creamy sauce

1/2 Cup Chicken stock
1/2 Cup White Wine
1/2 Cup Cream
2 Tablespoons Mustard
A little cornflower to thicken if needed
Salt and Pepper to taste

The process

Take each breast and pound it with a mallet or rolling pin until about 1cm thick.

Season each piece on the one side with a little pepper, add one piece of cheese and ham, fold in half (or roll up). Try not to have the ham and cheese protruding from the edges.

Dip each piece in the egg wash, then in the flour and finally in the breadcrumbs and Parmesan(mixed together). Pat them gently to secure the crumbs and set aside.

In a pan on a medium heat, melt some oil and butter together and cook until they are golden brown on each side


Add all of the ingredients to a pot, mix together and simmer on low for about 5 minutes and thats it!

Serve with seasonal vegatables and boiled potatoes tossed in butter and parsley or even a salad it's all good

The old Irish Virgin

Ye Old Irish Virgin

In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it.

Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she died,she went to the town's undertaker, who also happened to be the local postal clerk, to make proper 'final' arrangements. As a last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted the following inscription engraved on her tombstone:


Not long after, the old maid died peacefully as she slept. A few days after the funeral, as the undertaker/postal clerk went to prepare the tombstone that the lady had requested it became very apparent that the tombstone she had selected was much too small for the wording she had chosen.

He thought long and hard about how he could fulfill the old maid's final request, considering the very limited space available on the small piece of stone.

For days, he agonized over the dilemma.

Finally, his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was the appropriate answer to the dilemma.

The virgin's tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and it read as follows:


A waiter a piece of string and a spoon.....?

The spoon:

A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'

'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.

If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now..' I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.

Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'

'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.

By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.'

I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'

'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Heart warming story of Dan Harrison and an Elephant

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away..

Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenage son.

As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing..

The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure.

He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter’s legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn’t the same f*#&ing elephant.

This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming crappy stories about animals BEWARE some animals are dangerous.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Amazing unlikely friends a Dolphin and Labrador swim together

On an island off the coast of Ireland, a Labrador retriever and a dolphin have become swimming buddies.

This footage, from a television program (or programme, in this case) called Countryfile, shows the dolphin, named Doogie, and the dog, named Ben, frolicking in the harbor (or harbour).

Tory Island, accessible only by boat, is off the coast of County Donegal. Ben, it’s reported, resides at a hotel on the island and trots down to the water regularly to meet up with Doogie, who, on the Internet at least, is sometimes referred to as Dougie.

Just had another Birthday hope I never get old to this point....!

These old farts are such a sad sight

Please I never want to get so old that I stop looking
 the day I stop looking somebody shoot me please

The origins of the white wedding gown

Daddy answers the age old question

Must of been a brave Dad

Son asked his mother the following question:

'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies:

'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'

The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.

'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'

The father looks at his son in surprise and says:

'Son, all household appliances come in white.'

Friday, April 15, 2011

Water for Elephants - Or snot from a vampire

Movie Poster

Snotty Love Scene

Reese Witherspoon and Robert Pattinson share a much-hyped love scene in their upcoming film, "Water for Elephants," but the newlywed Witherspoon wasn't very impressed with her co-stars game.

Speaking about the movie, Witherspoon complained the leaking nose Pattinson was suffering while filming the scene.

"Rob possibly had the most hideous horrible cold of any co-star I've ever had to do a love scene with ever in my entire life," she told the magazine. "He was literally snorting and snotting through every second of it - and it was not appealing. I'm talking green, infectious, disgusting - I'm not kidding!"

Pattinson and Witherspoon

Set during the depression era of the 1930s, the romance is told via the flashbacks of a 90-something old man (played by Holbrook).

The story opens with Jacob on the verge of qualifying as a vet when he learns that his parents have been killed in a car accident and that he has been left penniless and without a home. And so he sets out to find work by jumping on a train that, unbeknown to him, is the Benzini Brothers travelling circus.

It isn’t long before his skill as a “vet” is put to use by head trainer August (Waltz), who is feared for his outbursts which have seen many workers “redlighted” (thrown off a moving train as punishment or dismissal). However, they lock horns from the start when he puts down a badly injured horse – the show’s star attraction – instead of putting it to work. While his action pleases Marlena (August’s wife), her paranoid and tyrannical husband flies into a fury.

Somehow they move on from the incident and Jacob is then tasked with training Rosie, an elephant, to help save the circus from financial ruin. While fulfilling his job, animal lover Jacob finds himself drawn to Marlena and their mutual attraction doesn’t go unnoticed by August. His act of vengeance against the betrayal proves to be August’s greatest undoing and that of the notorious circus.

The cinematography is praiseworthy with commendable usage of dark hues and a genuine recreation of the era from the costumes to backdrops. Broody characters are Pattinson’s forte – Twilight proved that. He plays his role with conviction but the lack of chemistry with co-star Witherspoon dilutes the efficacy of his performance. Waltz is magnificent in his portrayal of a mean-spirited and jealous husband. He straddles that fine line between playfully nice and, with a flick of emotion, intensely brutal, with aplomb.

No disrespect to Witherspoon, but, given her ├╝ber tame performance, she is simply along for the ride and not the plaudits.

With too many subplots feeding into the key storyline, it, unfortunately, bleeds Water for Elephants dry of any appeal or impact. What is left is a vacuous love story that sparkles mostly from the animated retelling by a spirited old man and the smattering of tongue-in-cheek dialogues.

If you liked…Titanic, The Notebook and Australia…you might enjoy this

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Ahmed and ghostly love or not......!

A professor at the Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, ‘How many people here believe in ghosts?’

About 90 students raise their hands.

Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?’

About 40 students raise their hands.

That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?’

About 15 students raise their hand.

Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?’

Three students raise their hands.

That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further…Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?’

Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses and says ‘Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.’

The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, ‘So, Ahmed, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?’

Ahmed replied, “Shit, from way back there I thought you said Goats.”

NASA shows second generation shuttle

Houston we have liftoff
Wonder what the fuel source is..?

Brave men or just stupid utterances you decide....?

In the making of this article no females were abused or hurt I just wanted to make that clear

Battle of the sexes an age old parody

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry her!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.

I married my 'Miss Right'.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%
it's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

Paddy and the half-wit

Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions, stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees enough and they would send an inspector to interview them.

On the appointed day, the inspector turned up.

"Tell me about your staff," he asked Paddy.

"Well," said Paddy, "there's the farm hand, I pay him £240 a week, and he has a free cottage.

Then there's the housekeeper. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and lodging.

There's also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about £25 a week, along with a bottle of gin, and about once every 6 months gets to sleep with my missus."

"That's who I want to talk to," said the inspector, “the half-wit."

"That'll be me then," said Paddy.

Friday, April 8, 2011

The wise words of Dr Perry Cox from scrubs

Perry you a legend

Thai Chicken Curry hits the spot everytime

Hearty and delicious
Ingredients – main:

½ chicken, cut into parts or the equivalent weight of prepared chicken portions
1 tbsp lime juice
½ tsp cinnamon
fresh basil and coriander for garnish
1 red bell pepper, chopped
2-3 tomatoes, sliced into wedges
1 fresh red chili (minced)
Optional: 1 aubergine, chopped into bite-size pieces (leave skin on)

Ingredients – red curry sauce:

1 tin coconut milk
½ cup red onions, sliced
1 thumb-size piece of ginger
3 cloves garlic
3 tbsp fish sauce*
1 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp ground cumin
1 tbsp ground coriander
2 heaped tsp. brown sugar
2 tsp shrimp paste, substitute anchovy paste if not available

*Ingredient substitution: for one tablespoon fish sauce, use one tablespoon soy sauce mixed with one anchovy fillet (finely minced).


1.Preheat oven to 180°C.

2.Place chicken pieces in a large casserole dish.

3.Place all curry sauce ingredients in a food processor blender. Process well.

4.Pour the curry sauce over the chicken.

5.Stir well and make sure that each chicken piece is covered with sauce.

6.Add the lime juice and cinnamon.

7.Cover and bake 45 minutes at 180°C.

8.Remove dish from the oven.

9.Add the vegetables and stir them into the sauce.

10.Return the curry to the oven for 15-20 minutes or until chicken is well cooked.

11.Dish the curry into a large serving bowl.

12.Sprinkle generously with fresh basil and coriander.

13.Serve with rice.

At 57 Christie Brinkley is still hot to trot

She was warned when she began modelling that her career would be over by the time she turned 30.

But at 57, Christie Brinkley shows no sign of losing her Uptown Girl appeal.

The mother-of-three proved she still knows how to turn heads yesterday in New York as she showed off moves from her role as Roxie in the Broadway version of musical Chicago.

In a skintight red Herve Leger dress, the glamorous blond could have
passed for a woman half her age.

Smoking hot
Can still charm you baby
Miss Brinkley, who has been married four times, told a New York breakfast television host that her ex-husband Billy Joel, 61, had given her some singing tips before she auditioned for the musical. Well it seems those dance moves and not the singing tips have paid of on her body it's toned and in great shape

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Did you know that blue eyes don’t really exist!

That's right folks it's all a trick of light natures own magic show
Elizabeth Taylor's Blue Eyes

Although some people have blue eyes, and many babies are born with particularly deep blue irises, no one actually has blue pigment in their irises. They're just a trick of the light.

With the news of Elizabeth Taylor's death, many people's thoughts have turned to eye color. It's known that her famous violet eyes were mostly the result of make-up and photo coloration, but even outside of the world of starlets many people rhapsodize about blue eyes. This is especially true with parents, who are startled by the deep blue of their babies' eyes. When people say that their children's eyes are sky blue, they're telling the truth. Blue eyes are blue for the same reason the sky is blue - scattered light.

Irises are made up of three layers, a thin top and back layer, with a spongy layer in between called the stroma. Any layer can have pigmentation in it. There are a few different colors of pigment that come into play. Most people have either dark brown or yellow pigment in at least one of these layers. The combination of yellow and brown go into making brown and amber-colored eyes. Brown-eyed people have these pigments in each layer of the iris, giving the eye a strong brown color.

Blue and grey eyes, on the other hand, only have dark brown pigment on the back layer of the eye. The stroma has no pigment, but it does have small particles suspended in it. These particles give rise to the Tyndall Effect. The small particles in the eye scatter blue light. As light enters the eye, the blue wavelengths are scattered - some of them back towards the outside of the eye. The dark background absorbs most of the rest of light. (If the background of the eye were white, or were lit from within, more light would stream through, the blue wavelengths would be scattered out, and the eyes would look yellow.) Babies can often have blue eyes for a few days or months after birth, because the melanin - the darkening pigment of the eyes - has not fully developed in the stroma.

Even if the overall color of the eye doesn't change, babies and young children tend to have more intensely blue eyes than adults. As people age, the particles in the stroma get bigger, and scatter white light. Add a layer of white to the blue, it comes to look more grey. People can see this kind of pigmentation in weather. A dry sky is made up of tiny particles that scatter blue light and make the sky look blue. As clouds start to form water molecules fill the air, and the color of the sky changes to a whitish grey.

Original Source

Encourage the exuberance of youth don’t poison it...

I know that I keep quoting "Professor Jonathan Jansen" but it is because he is so relevent to our situation today. He is not a simple politician with ulterior motives nor is he biast to any creed religion or political view he is simply an objective teacher who calls it as he sees it

Encourage uncommon valour ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Instead of embittering the youth with memories, older folk should support their idealism

Jonathan Jansen: Immediately after the first reports of the earthquakes and tsunami in Japan came through, students started to trickle to our offices at the university with a simple request: what can we do to help? Some wanted to send money, blankets and food.

So we started by setting up a Skype discussion with our Ambassador to Japan, Gert Grobler, in his offices in Tokyo. I watched the students around the room: their determination to lend support to ordinary people in Japan came in the form of firm promises to the ambassador. An alumnus of the university, Grobler was clearly moved by the sentiment of the University of Free State student leaders from Bloemfontein.

Whenever I witness the idealism of young people, I remember why I chose to become a teacher. It is not simply what we might offer young people in the form of knowledge and skills; it is what they teach us in return about humanity, healing and hope.

I admit to sometimes getting frustrated with older people. We carry bitter memories into old age, burying the idealism of youth under many layers of scar tissue of hurt and disappointment.

But young minds and hearts do not begin with these negative memories and bitter experiences. That is why young people, as I witness every single day, are much more ready to make friends across the barriers of race, ethnicity, language, culture or national origins. They approach others, even as far away as Japan, with trust and accept other humans at face value.

Which raises the question: how do young people, starting with such idealism, become bitter and negative like us? Why do younger children, who make friends so easily across the colour line as children, learn to become suspicious of black or white as they reach the teenage years? It's quite simple, actually.

We are to blame as parents, as teachers, as religious leaders, as sports coaches. We embitter them; we talk away their idealism; we teach them our suspicions, our (over) sensitivities and our stereotypes. We discourage openness towards other people, especially those whom we think are different from us. Slowly, slowly, they become like us, with all the emotional and political baggage of the older people.

Nothing destroys the idealism and spontaneity of young people more than to hear a parent or teacher or coach say "no" when they dare to make friends from other cultures, or to serve in areas which are dangerous, or to take a public stand over injustice.

Of course, our natural instincts as parents are to protect and defend our children against uncertainty. But how will children learn uncommon valour if they do not learn courage and compassion in the challenges of daily life? Will they grow up to be spineless and selfish like our political leaders? Will they inherit the tribal behaviour of South Africans caring only for people who look like them and talk their language?

More than ever before, South Africa needs a new generation of leaders who look beyond ethnic borders or geographical boundaries or inherited memories - and break through these constraints to build a more compassionate country and a less dangerous world. This is how countries find their Nelson Mandelas, their Bram Fischers, their Mother Teresas, and their Barack Obamas.

Rather than dampen the idealism of youth, we need to nurture it. As teachers, parents and community leaders, we need to create opportunities for youth to stand up against wrong and to serve where there is need. When they come with ideas, and they will, we should encourage and direct such idealism in ways that make a difference.

Every school and university in the country should have an office for student ideas that encourages bold proposals and out-of-the-box thinking.

Uncommon valour means doing things differently. It means being prepared to take stinging criticism. It often means risking alienation from your in-group. It could even mean losing your life.

This is what we should teach our young people, for this is what it will take to transform a country fast sliding downwards because of a crisis of moral leadership among older people.

Our future lies with this post-apartheid generation of younger people. Our first duty is not to embitter them with our memories. Our second task is not to dampen their idealism.

We should rather encourage uncommon valour in the next generation of South African leaders.

Original source

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

A nude Picture of Elizabeth Taylor surfaces after her death

The lady was a beauty in her day as this tasteful nude photo shows really quite stunning to say the least
Click to enlarge pic
Elizabeth Taylor

Less than two weeks after screen legend Elizabeth Taylor passed away, a personal, nude photograph of her has been leaked to the public. But of course!

The tastefully-shot, topless photo of a 24-year-old Elizabeth was taken by one of her closest friends, Roddy McDowall, as an engagement gift to her third husband, producer Mike Todd.

Mike was tragically killed in an air crash just 13 months after marrying Liz, and she is said to have passed the photograph onto her assistant and make-up artist - who then sold it to private collector Jim Shaudis in 1980.

The picture has been on display in his house ever since - but Jim decided to share it with fans following Liz's death on March 23.

Hoover Disease a nasty malady

Visit faceless at

Monday, April 4, 2011

Some Questions are just so hard to answer!

I suppose it is all just about ethics

See what i mean how do you answer that.....?

The definitive male test to see if you an Alcoholic.....

This is a test to determine if you are an alcoholic...

You're definitely an alcoholic if you saw the 'Bar' sign first.

Only in South Africa!!!!!

This guy obviously missed the Bus somewhere as Johannesburg is about 11000kms from Japan

Nice try Doofus