A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count after marrying a 30 year old.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample of your sperm tomorrow."
The next day, the 75-year old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained, "Well, doc,
it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing.
Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing.
"Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand,
but nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her
mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still
"Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with
both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."
The doctor was shocked. "You asked your NEIGHBOR?"
The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we just
couldn't get the damn jar open!"