Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The old Irish Virgin

Ye Old Irish Virgin

In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it.

Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she died,she went to the town's undertaker, who also happened to be the local postal clerk, to make proper 'final' arrangements. As a last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted the following inscription engraved on her tombstone:

'SISTER HELENA BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN'

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully as she slept. A few days after the funeral, as the undertaker/postal clerk went to prepare the tombstone that the lady had requested it became very apparent that the tombstone she had selected was much too small for the wording she had chosen.

He thought long and hard about how he could fulfill the old maid's final request, considering the very limited space available on the small piece of stone.

For days, he agonized over the dilemma.

Finally, his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was the appropriate answer to the dilemma.

The virgin's tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and it read as follows:

'RETURNED UNOPENED'