Monday, July 15, 2013

Myron and the tax man



MYRON Greenberg, a wealthy S.A. businessman receives a letter from SARS advising him that he is about to be audited. 

This really upsets him, so he calls his Accountant.
MYRON: (pleading): 
“Why are they doing to me? Why are they doing this to me?”
Accountant
 (calming); “Myron, don’t worry about it. I’ve got all the receipts, the account is up to date, it’s no problem.But let me give you a bit of advice. When you go to the Audit, make a bad impression.Wear the crummiest, dirtiest clothes you’ve got.  Have holes in your shoes, rippedpants and look shabby .   I mean really look terrible, because if they have a little
sympathy, they’ll go easy on you.

Then Myron called his Lawyer  . His Lawyer said:
  “MYRON it’s no problem, I’m sure
they got the receipts, I’m sure everything is up to date, you’ve got a great accountant,
Ken Scher, don’t worry about it.   Let me give you a tip. When you go to the Audit, it’s
very important that you make a good impression.  Wear your best suit, and your shirt
with a silk tie and cuff links and shine your shoes, look like somebody.
Because if you look like a somebody they respect you and will go easy on you.”
And now he’s torn.  So he goes to see his RABBI and he told the Rabbi the story.

RABBI: 
“Myron, it reminds me of sometimes when I perform a wedding. The bride’s
father will tell his daughter that on her wedding night, to wear a nightgown with a
high collar and long sleeves and a full-length robe... cover up, you know, be a little
demure. But the mother says, ‘Don’t be silly. Wear a low cut“negligee” with the cleavage
sticking out --- look a little sexy’

       …. and Myron I will say to you just like I say to the Bride on her wedding night,
it makes no difference what you wear, you’re gonna get fucked”….