Black eyes and blonde's

A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too.

He says to him, “Hey, this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?”
The other guy says, “Well, it just happened, it was a tongue twister accident.

See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blond with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, ‘I’d like two tickets to Pittsburgh,’ I accidentally said, ‘I’d like two pickets to Tittsburgh’….so she socked me a good one.”

The first guy replied, “Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue-twister too.
I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, “Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.’But I accidentally said, ‘You have ruined my life you evil, self-centered, fat-assed ugly bitch

South African 'Dead' grandfather wakes up in the morgue

'He woke up and screamed, demanding to be taken out of the cold place. At first, the mortuary workers ran for their lives, thinking it was a ghost'

An Eastern Cape grandfather, who woke up in a morgue after his family believed he was dead, has been discharged from hospital, a health official said on Monday.

“Doctors put him under observation and concluded he was stable. He did not need further treatment,” said Eastern Cape health spokesman Sizwe Kupelo.

He said the man had suffered from dehydration after spending 21 hours inside the morgue of a private undertaker at Libode in the Transkei region on Sunday afternoon.

His family had presumed he was dead when they could not wake him  up.

“The family called a private undertaker who took what they thought was a dead body to the morgue, but the man woke up inside the morgue on Sunday at 5pm and screamed, demanding to be taken out  of the cold place.” 

Kupelo said the two mortuary attendants thought that they had heard a ghost.
“At first, the mortuary workers ran for their lives,” said Kupelo.

The man was taken to Saint Barnabus hospital where he was discharged on Monday morning. He had to go in for a check-up again on Thursday.

Kupelo said this incident showed that the funeral industry needed to be better regulated.
“We need to the message across to all South Africans that it is very wrong for them to conclude on their own that a person has died.

“You begin to you ask yourself, how many other people have died like that in a morgue.”  
If a member of the public thinks a family member is dead, he or she must first call an ambulance or the police who will then follow  the correct processes.

Original link http://www.sowetanlive.co.za/news/morgue---after-21-hours

The complexities of the Human mind

A practical example of how the human mind works.

In the picture below, we will analyze what it represents to some groups of people.
Read the review after the photo...

Explained revue of the above scene
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For young men, it's a nice ass. Only the most observant will define this as an ass crossing the street. The really observant will see the thong.

For older men, it is a respectable woman with a nice ass crossing the street.

The perverts will imagine her as a naked woman.

The wise men will ponder the presence of mind of the photographer in the face of such beauty, and gratitude that it was shared with humanity.

For half of the women, this is an ordinary woman who should not have left home dressed that way.

The other half is wondering where she bought that blouse.

The wise women imagine the misery that this will be at 50.

Children, the curious, gay guys and monks will probably notice a dog driving the taxi..
 
Don't be alarmed, I didn't see the dog either.

Mark Esterhuysen goes crazy on public radio

Talk Radio 702 Eyewitness News (EWN) fired newsreader Mark Esterhuysen on Tuesday after he swore 13 times and promoted his blog, Twitter and Facebook feeds during a news bulletin.

Esterhuysen used the F word repeatedly in the 1am broadcast.

EWN editor Katy Katopodis said he had been summarily dismissed.

Although she had been unable to reach Esterhuysen by phone, a letter of dismissal had been delivered to his house.

"We can't tolerate that kind of behaviour. I don't think it's appropriate to use our platform, which is credible, to promote your own agenda," she said.

A 41-second clip, purportedly of the broadcast, on the website twitvid.com had garnered 35,000 views by Tuesday afternoon.

In it a man who identifies himself as Mark Esterhuysen, says: "F-word racism, f-word the pigs who killed Andries Tatane, f-word the AWB, f-word racism. We are all wild animals here, meant to live free. F-word capitalism, f-word fascism. F-word this f-word wage slavery s-word. F-word domestication, f-word Julius Malema, f-word the state. F-word the petrol economic growth on a finite planet."

Esterhuysen tweeted that he had "no regrets about my bulletin".

On his Twitter feed, he identified himself as an enemy of the state, a defender of anarchy, a proud member of the primate clan, a cunning linguist, and a master debater.

"Just like Jerry Maguire, I have lost the ability to b-word. I'll accept the consequences of it," he tweeted on Monday.

He said all he wanted in life "is for @GarethCliff to read my blog".

His most recent blog on markesterhuysen.blogspot.com/ was on the role of sport in modern South Africa, from an anarchist perspective. Other topics dealt with the futility of civilisation.

Hear the rant here click for sound clip

Nude Rugby game in Dunedin

A streaker disrupted a naked rugby game between New Zealand's Nude Blacks and the Romanian Vampires on Saturday. Find out how they punished her. Fun was had by all including the streaker who got thrown in the local fountain

Some of the action below beware NUDITY

Laughs were had by all including the streaker above