Sunday, March 28, 2010
You have to read this Email sent to David and the up and down mails following about his Son Seb
From: Margaret Bennett
I tried to call you but your phone is off. Just letting you know that Seb bought a flash drive to school yesterday and copied a game onto the school computers which is against the school rules and he has been banned from using the computer room for the rest of the term.
From: David Thorne
Also, though physical discipline is not longer administered in the public school system, it would probably be appropriate in this instance if nobody is watching. I know from experience that he can take a punch.
From: Margaret Bennett
We would never strike a student and whether the software is pirated or not is not the issue. He denied having the drive which means he knew he shouldn't have it here then it was found in his bag so I feel the punishment is suitable.
From: David Thorne
Another time, because I desperately wanted a Battlestar Galactica jacket like Apollo in the television series, using brown house paint from the shed at home, I painted my denim jacket and used Araldite to attach brass door hinges as clasps. Feeling that it was an excellent representation and despite the oil based paint still being soaking wet, I wore it to school the next day. Unfortunately, the paint dried while I was sitting in Mrs Bowman's English class, securing me to the chair. After the school handyman cut me free, I was sent to the principal for damaging school property. My punishment was to scrape wads of chewing gum off the bottom of every chair in the school after hours. It took several weeks and it was during this lonely time that I created my imaginary friend Mr Wrigley. During class, when the teacher was not looking, we would pass each other notes regarding the merits of disciplinary action and how one day we would own real Battlestar Galactica jackets.
Also, if you happen to see Seb eating anything over the next few weeks, please remove the food from him immediately. He forgot to feed his turtle last week and I feel a month without food will help him understand both the importance of being a responsible pet owner and the effects of malnutrition.
Regards, David.
From: Margaret Bennett
I hope you are not being serious about the food but I am forwarding your email to the principal as per school policy.
From: David Thorne
Just this morning Seb and I were discussing the importance of good nutrition which is why, if you check in his school bag, you will find a bag of rice, vegetables, a wok and a camp stove. The gas bottle can be a little tricky but has instructions printed on the side so he should be alright. Please remind him to stand well back and cover his face while igniting as the hose is worn and has developed a small leak.
Also, I am not sure what you are teaching in your classroom but Seb came home the other week talking about a healthy eating pyramid. I had to explain to him that pyramids are made of stone and therefore not edible so I would appreciate you not filling his head with these fanciful notions.
From: Margaret Bennett
I have no idea what your point is. I will speak to the principal about the ban but you have to understand that only government approved software is allowed on the computers and Seb knew this rule.
From: David Thorne
Just this week I found a Sue Townsend novel in Seb's bag that I do not believe is on the school approved reading list. Do not concern yourself about it making its way to the school yard though as we attended a community book burning last night. Although one lady tried to ruin the atmosphere with comments regarding Mayan codices and the Alexandrian Libraries, I mentioned to the High Magus that I had overheard her discussing spells to turn the village cow's milk sour and the mob took care of the rest.
Regards, David.
From: Margaret Bennett
I have spoken to the principal and in this instance we will lift the ban.
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