How the "Olympics" got its name

Until recently, I didn't know this...

A beautiful young slave call girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee was attending a great but as yet unnamed athletic festival 2500 years ago in Greece ..

In those days, believe it or not, all the athletes performed naked.

To prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on drink containing saltpeter before and throughout the variety of events.

At the opening ceremonial parade, Gedophamee observed the first wave of naked magnificent males marching toward her and she exclaimed:

"OH!! Limp pricks!"

Over the next two and a half millenniums that morphed into " Olympics".

Just thought I'd share this new found knowledge with you.

Three Holy Men and a Bear

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.  One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would

all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert

it to their religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had

various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found

him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So

I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God,

he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give

him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one

arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.

In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you

KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And

then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted

nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP

another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him

and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as

a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in

a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors

running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have

been the best way to start”!!!!!.

Overheard in a bar

Bar Life

I couldn't  help but over-hear two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting  at a bar.

One of the guys says to his buddy, "Man you look  tired."

His buddy says,

"Dude I'm exhausted

My girlfriend and I have sex all the time

I just don't know what to  do."

A fellow about my age (72), sitting a couple of
stools down had also over-heard the conversation. He  looked
over at the two young men and with the wisdom of years
says,

"Marry her. That'll put a stop to that shit"

RIP Nelson Mandela go well

Go well and thank you

A sad day for the world as a great light

 & kind spirit goes out

Your time is done old friend

Your time is done

The love you so eagerly spread has taken deep root

Your will to serve the people has never faulted or slipped nor been tarnished

Your deeds and spirit will live to tell the tale of this we will make sure

Rest well old friend for your time is done

Let us rejoice in your memory for it is a treasure

Cry not for that treasure for it is here for all to see

A giant amongst men who spread not fear but love and understanding

Your love and understanding have enriched so many it is now our turn

You have lit the way now let us use your reflection to see the way

Let us in remembrance pay homage by furthering that light

Let all who see say Madiba lives

Rest well old friend for we will now carry the load

Rest in peace old friend

By W. Jubber

The avid rugby supporter

A picture of young Nelson taken in the 40's

On July 18, 1918, Mandela was born along the Mbashe River in the village of Mvezo, in the Umtata district. AllAfrica.com and the BBC both report that Mandela was "born Rolihlahla Dalibhunga." Mandela explains in his 1994 autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom, that he was given the English name "Nelson" by his teacher Miss Mdingane on his first day at school, which he explains was a common practice within white South African institutions, where whites were unable or unwilling to pronounce African names.

In Long Walk to Freedom, Mandela writes that "[a]part from life, a strong constitution, and an abiding connection to the Thembu royal house, the only thing my father bestowed upon me at birth was a name, Rolihlahla. In Xhosa, Rolihlahla literally means 'pulling the branch of a tree,' but its colloquial meaning more accurately would be 'troublemaker.'"

Mandela's father, Gadla Henry Mphakanyiswa, was chief of Mvezo in the Transkeiean territories, and from the African indigenous Thembu royal family line. His mother was Nosekeni Fanny, the third of his father's four wives. Mandela was one of thirteen children and had three older brothers.

That laugh is a national treasure

In 1964, Mandela was arrested, he was convicted and sentenced to life imprisonment. He was incarcerated on Robben Island, near Cape Town, as prisoner 46664 for 18 of his 27 years in prison. Mandela imprisonment became a symbol of black oppression and a world-wide symbol of the resistance to racism. It sparked Pan Africanist responses from the Americas through support of organizations like TransAfrica under the efforts of the African American lawyer Randall Robinson. Mandela gained world-wide support, even from Europe. He was allowed to study for a Bachelor of Laws through a University of London correspondence program.

Mandela may have become the most revered prisoner in modern history. He would indeed be the trouble-maker, using his life to help dismantle apartheid to form a new multiracial democracy. In 1990, Nelson Mandela was released from prison under then leadership of his country's president Frederik Willem de Klerk. By July 1991, he was elected president of the ANC. In 1993, Mandela and de Klerk were both awarded Nobel Peace Prizes.

The most Iconic smile in the world

On May 10, 1994, Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela was elected the first black South African president as a result of its first multiracial elections. He served as president until 1999 before retiring from active politics. He maintained a busy schedule of fund-raising for his Mandela Foundation, which aims to build schools and medical clinics in South Africa’s rural regions. In 2001, he was diagnosed and treated for prostate cancer. June 2004, at age 85, he announced his formal retirement from public life.

 'Hamba Kahle, Tata..'

The art of bragging by three ladies

Three young women are at a cocktail party. The conversation turns to their position in life, and it's clear that they're trying to one-up each other.

The first one says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks on vacation," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor.

The second one says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride. Young woman number three says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have many material possessions. However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is that fourteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect thing."

After this, the first one looks shamefaced and says, "Girls, I've got a confession to make: I was just trying to impress you. You know that vacation I was telling you about? Well, it's not to the French Riviera, it's to my folks' house in Bloemfontein for two weeks."

The second one says, "Your honesty has shamed me. It's not a Mercedes; it's a Ford."

No 3 says "Well, I've got a confession to make myself: Canary number fourteen has to stand on one leg."