Wednesday, December 12, 2012

To lie or not to lie the age old question


A story of a lie that turned out all wrong


Russ and Sam, two friends, very old and frail, met in the park every day to feed the birds, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.
But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried.
However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.
A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ,but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! -- there sat Russ! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.
Then he said, "For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you?"
Russ replied, "I was in jail."
"Jail?" cried Sam. "What in the world for?"
"Well," Russ said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?"
"Yeah," said Sam, "I remember her. What about her?"
"Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'."
"The damn judge gave me 30 days for lying under oath."

Couple sex explained

Somethings should be left unexplained!

An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grandpa, what is couple sex?"

The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to know to ask the question,
then she's old enough to get a straight answer.

Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities of sexual intercourse.

When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement. Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question,honey?"

The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs”