Monday, May 23, 2011

Why would you say men are not romantic?

Trust a man to kill the moment
Read the conversation between Jimmy and Joyce
Put a tiger in your tank baby

*Joyce: Jimmy babe, now that we are engaged, I think we should start** Calling each other pet names, sweet names.
James: (uninterested) alright babe. So what do you wanna call me?

Joyce: I think I will call you tiger

James: Why tiger babe?

Joyce: (sexy tone) because you're charming, handsome, smart and
calculating. And you Jimmy babe, what do you wanna call me?

James (still uninterested): I think I will call you zebra

Joyce: (smiling and kissing his cheek) ooh that's sweet, why would you
call me that?***

*James: because of your stretch-marks!!!!!!!!*

Experience the wizardry of Eric Grohe’s painting

"3-Dimensional Artist"
These paintings are by the amazing Eric Grohe. To visit his site click Here

Eric Grohe Murals Working in cooperation with architects, designers, art commissions and community representatives, Eric Grohe creates mural art that transforms the environment and communities as well. He believes that his art should involve, challenge and inspire the viewer; not simply adorn, but integrate with its architectural surroundings.
~
Before photo - typical concrete & stucco facade
Preparing the canvas by plastering the wall surface
The wall starts to take on a 3-dimensional appearance.
Eric in his element, 30' off the ground. He does most of the artwork by himself & researches, paints and designs each project from scratch. His wife Kathy, also an artist, serves as project manager
The finished product amazing!

A few more of his creations
Before
 How to dress up a drab Shopping Mall in Niagara , NY state
After
Truly a gifted man

A cutural island experiance

On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of the South Pacific, the following people are stranded:

* Two Italian men and one Italian woman.

* Two French men and one French woman.

* Two German men and one German woman.

* Two Greek men and one Greek woman.

* Two British men and one British woman.

* Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman.

* Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman.

* Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman.

* Two Irish men and one Irish woman.

* Two American men and one American woman.

One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the
middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

* One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

* The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a' trois.

* The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

* The two Greek men are sleeping together and the Greek woman is cooking and cleaning for them.

* The two British men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the British woman.

* The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island.

* The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

* The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, liquor store, restaurant, and laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply more employees for their stores.

* The two Irish men divided the island into north and south and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few pints of coconut whiskey. However, they are satisfied because the British are not having any fun.

* The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why didn't they bring a damn cell phone so they could call 911 and get them all rescued off this forsaken deserted island in the middle of freaking nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Don't forget tomorrow is the end of the world May the 21st

Behind thousands of “Judgement Day” billboards from rural highways to city skylines and a small army of volunteers that have traipsed across the country preaching May 21 as the beginning of the world’s destruction is a frail, 89-year-old California multimillionaire who runs one of the largest Christian radio networks in the world.

Each day, Harold Camping’s slow and sonorous Bible readings and his Open Forum call-in show broadcast for hours from the Oakland, Calif. headquarters of Family Radio, where his words are punctuated by slots of Christian gospel and shows with titles such as “Beyond Intelligent Design” and “Creation Moments.”

And while the retired civil engineer and former Sunday school teacher has been preaching the gospel for decades and talking about God’s wrathful plan for earth for the past two years, recent times have brought him into the spotlight like never before.

In the last week, variations of “End of the World May 21st” and “Harold Camping” have been among the top search terms on Google. On Thursday, the Centers for Disease Control took advantage of that popularity by releasing a mock guide to the “Zombie Apocalypse” on its web site that quickly went viral.

But “it’s no laughing matter,” Camping says in an interview “It is not something where it's a tiny, tiny, tiny chance it may happen. It is going to happen.”

He and his fringe group of church less followers believe that at 6 p.m. on Saturday, May 21, a massive earthquake will make its way around the earth, beginning in Fiji and New Zealand. Graves will open and the dead who are 'saved' will ascend to heaven. Alive or dead, two hundred million of the saved will float up. The doomed remainder will live on an unruly earth for five months before God annihilates it on Oct. 21.

Camping’s warnings are drawn from complex Biblical numerology that is part-based on a literal reading of the King James Bible and part-based and obscure interpretation of the book’s many symbols.

Camping is no stranger to controversy, but this one has caught national and international attention. He was wrong before, but this time he is absolutely certain that he is right.

You have been warned people so enjoy your last hours!
I feel the mother of all parties coming on if i am going out i am going out in style

Help my boyfriend is stuck

A young Lady's boyfriend following a dare to race the car in exchange for her getting naked........

Started to enthusiastically speed up the car.

He reached the 100 km mark, so she took off her blouse.

At 120 km off came the pants.

At 160 it was her bra and at 180 her panties.

Now seeing her naked for the first time and traveling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car. He swerved off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree. His girlfriend was not hurt but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but he was stuck.

"Go to the road and get help," he said. "I don't have anything to cover myself with!" she replied.

The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes.

"You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up," he told her.

So she did as he said and went up to the road for help.

Along came a truck driver.

Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story.

"My boyfriend! My boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and I can't pull him out!"

The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies: "Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid he's a goner!"

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Scientists are baffled by the lack of looting in Japan

What was missing in Japan?

Scientists are baffled: What was missing in Japan?


There was an article in the US World Report regarding the orderly behavior of the Japanese citizens and the absence of looting after the earthquake, tsunami and nuclear nightmare.

Social scientists are baffled by the total non-existence of looting and savage behavior in Japan considering the magnitude of this catastrophe. They conferred with human study organizations as well as sociology experts throughout the United States. Finally, after days and days of studies and meetings, they came to a conclusion.

Guess what’s missing in Japan!

Oh man thats classic

Arnold Schwarzenegger's kid from the maid

Conan you are a Barbarian
Every man knows that if you're gonna cheat you trade up (ex. Brad Pitt), so it's a little disappointing to see that Arnold Schwarzenegger got this chick, Mildred Patricia Baena, pregnant on purpose. Anyway, this is her. Standing beside her is the result of a quickie in the bathroom while Maria was getting a manicure. Well whatever it is it's just a nasty little affair proving Arnold has Barbaric tastes!

Mildred and Arnold's love child

This is the 13-year-old love child Joseph of Arnold Schwarzenegger and his mistress Mildred Baena. Pictures posted on his mother's social networking page have revealed the boy bears a strong resemblance to his father.

Pregnant at the same time: Arnold Schwarzenegger's alleged mistress Mildred Baena at her baby shower in 1997 and Maria Shriver (right) pictured that same year while carrying her youngest child Christopher. Both women gave birth within days of each other

It has emerged that Baena, who worked at the Schwarzeneggers' housekeeper for 20 years, gave birth to her son a mere five days after Arnold's wife Maria Shriver.

A more recent photo of Baena and son Joseph

Mildred Baena's son, believed to be the former California governor's love child, was born on October 2, 1997, according to documents unearthed today.
The actor and his wife Maria Shriver welcomed their second son, Christopher, on September 27 that same year.

Baena and Shriver would have encountered one another daily while pregnant, with Baena working in the family home but living elsewhere.

Local varsities slam door on straight-A white students

Izette Lubbe got seven distinctions in matric last year - but was still not good enough to qualify for three of South Africa's university medical schools.

The 18-year-old, who matriculated at Pretoria's Afrikaanse Hoër Meisieskool, is still determined to become a doctor, despite her applications being rejected by the universities of Pretoria, Stellenbosch and the Free State.

Lubbe is one of many white matriculants who battle to gain acceptance to medical schools, where race still plays a large role.

Now, Lubbe and others like her are studying towards other degrees to try to increase their chances of acceptance by medical schools later during their studies.

Louise van Immerzeel, 24, a third-year medical student at Wits University, completed a BSc degree before being accepted.

"I can't explain how hard it is to get in. I have lots of people in my class with a master's degree. There are people with PhDs that didn't get in," she said.

Medical school admission policies extend from a strict, race-based system in use by the University of Cape Town (UCT) to a "definite effort . to accommodate candidates from a disadvantaged academic background" at Free State University.

UCT is clear about its racial selection criteria, by which black students need to obtain 534 out of 900 points, whereas white and Indian candidates have to achieve 700 out of 900 marks to make their "admission probable".

The university's website also says that coloured pupils have to score 578 points and Chinese 660.

UCT vice-chancellor Max Price said one of the reasons for the rigid policy was the education system, which is "a mess".

"The unfairness happens in schools and not in universities. These black students overcome enormous odds.

"They don't have the internet and parents helping them with homework, and they have very poor teachers.

"After all that, to get 60% you have to be close to a genius and highly motivated," said Price.

"Most white students who get 80% in matric have been to private schools or attended formerly model C schools and have educated parents who can help them with their homework. They have all those advantages that enable them to do well."

Price, who admitted that he was generalising, added: "The playing field is not level. To look only at marks would be unfair to disadvantaged students."

Price said the only equitable way of selection was to evaluate disadvantaged students against each other and not against those of other races. He said it did not matter whether the prospective black students came from a private school because their parents were not as well educated as those of their white counterparts.

Price said his university was "researching" other ways of selecting students that did not rely largely on race.

But at Walter Sisulu University's medical school, in Mthatha, Eastern Cape, officials are battling to find enough white students.

The admission policy stipulates that of the first-year intake, 75% of students, has to be black, 15% Indian, 5% Coloured or white, and 5% from Lesotho.

The executive dean of the faculty of health sciences, Professor Khaya Mfenyana said: "We are struggling to get whites and coloureds and this is why we only have 5% for them. On the other hand we have too many Indians applying."

Lubbe said being rejected, even after scoring seven distinctions, was difficult. She is now studying for a BSc degree in biological sciences and has applied for a place at a medical school at the end of the first semester.

"I really hope I get in. If I get in, it's a dream. If I don't make it, I'll try again," she said.

Original Post http://www.timeslive.co.za/Medical-schools-race-bar

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Drew Carey show humour thats simple

Don't get simpler than that folks

The blood test that can predict how long you will live

DNA breakthrough heralds new medical era – and opens ethical Pandora's box
The results of the tests might also be of interest to companies offering life-insurance policies or medical cover that depend on a person's lifetime risk of falling seriously ill or dying prematurely.

A blood test that can show how fast someone is ageing – and offers the tantalising possibility of estimating how long they have left to live – is to go on sale to the general public in Britain later this year.

The controversial test measures vital structures on the tips of a person's chromosomes, called telomeres, which scientists believe are one of the most important and accurate indicators of the speed at which a person is ageing.

Scientists behind the €500 test said it will be possible to tell whether a person's "biological age", as measured by the length of their telomeres, is older or younger than their actual chronological age.

Medical researchers believe that telomere testing will become widespread within the next five or 10 years, but there are already some scientists who question its value and whether there should be stronger ethical controls over its wider use. In addition to concerns about how people will react to a test for how "old" they really are, some scientists are worried that telomere testing may be hijacked by unscrupulous organisations trying to peddle unproven anti-ageing remedies and other fake elixirs of life.

The results of the tests might also be of interest to companies offering life-insurance policies or medical cover that depend on a person's lifetime risk of falling seriously ill or dying prematurely. However, there is a growing body of scientific opinion that says testing the length of a person's telomeres could provide vital insights into the risk of dying prematurely from a range of age-related disorders, from cardiovascular disease to Alzheimer's and cancer. "We know that people who are born with shorter telomeres than normal also have a shorter lifespan. We know that shorter telomeres can cause a shorter lifespan," said Maria Blasco of the Spanish National Cancer Research Centre in Madrid, who is the inventor of the new commercial telomere test. "But we don't know whether longer telomeres are going to give you a longer lifespan. That's not really known in humans," she added.

"What is new about this test is that it is very precise. We can detect very small differences in telomere length and it is a very simple and fast technique where many samples can be analysed at the same time. Most importantly, we are able to determine the presence of dangerous telomeres – those that are very short."

Dr Blasco's company, Life Length, is in talks with medical diagnostic companies across Europe, including the UK, to market the test and collect blood samples for analysis in Spain. A deal with a company operating in Britain is likely within a year, she said.

"We need to have a clinical company to send us the blood [samples]. We are in contact with several groups in the UK who are interested," Dr Blasco said.

Life Length is anticipating hundreds of requests from people wanting to have their telomeres tested and is expecting demand from thousands more once the company is able to bring down the cost of the test as public demand increases.

Although Life Length is not the only company selling telomere tests, it is the only one gearing up for over-the-counter sales to the public and the only company with an accurate-enough test to be of practical use, said Professor Jerry Shay of the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Centre in Dallas.

"This test devised by Blasco is so accurate that it is likely to provide more useful information than some of the other tests out there right now," said Professor Shay, who is a scientific consultant for Life Length. "What's important in ageing is the shortest telomeres. What makes cells stop growing is the shortest telomeres, not the average telomere length, which is what other tests look at.

"Everyone talks about the chronological age, but there is also a biological age, and telomere length is actually a pretty good representation of your biological age. Telomeres are important – there is no question of that," he said.

Asked why the general public would be interested in taking a telomere test, Dr Shay said: "I think people are just basically curious about their own mortality. If you ask people what they worry about, most people would say they are worried about dying."

He added: "People might say 'If I know I'm going to die in 10 years I'll spend all my money now', or 'If I'm going to live for 40 more years I'll be more conservative in my lifestyle'. The worrying thing is that if this information ever got to a point where it is believable, insurance companies would start requiring it in terms of insuring people.

"If you smoke or you're obese your insurance rates are higher, and if you have short telomeres your insurance rates might be higher too."

Scientists do not yet believe they can narrow down the test prediction to calculate the exact number of months and years a person has yet to live, but several studies have indicated that individuals with telomeres that shorter than normal are likely to die younger than those with longer telomeres. Telomere research is considered to be one of the most exciting areas in biomedical science and last year the Nobel Prize in medicine was shared between three scientists who are pioneers in the field.

Interestingly, one of the Nobel laureates, Elizabeth Blackburn of the University of California San Francisco, is an enthusiastic proponent of telomere testing while another of the prize-winners, Carol Greider of Harvard Medical School, is more sceptical of its benefits.

"Do I think it's useful to have a bunch of companies offering to measure telomere length so people can find out how old they are? No," Dr Greider recently told the journal Science.

Dr Blasco, a former post-doctoral student in Dr Greider's laboratory, is more certain of the benefits. "It will be useful for you to know your biological age and maybe to change your lifestyle habits if you find you have short telomeres," she said.

Original Link http://www.independent.co.uk/test-Life-Span

Latest tool for your touch screen phone

Simplicity Rules
The official name is the Dildo-nosed Scroller

Monday, May 16, 2011

From 0 to 40 in the blink of an eye Elephant charges car

Elephant charges car in Kruger National Park
I bet there was monkey mustard in somebodies pants

Close shave don't play with African Elephants

Woman claims to have largest breasts in the world

The morning TV show "This Morning" is at the centre of controversy after the show played host to a woman claiming the world's largest breasts at a massive 164XXX

Charms appearance on the show with stars Philip Schofield and Ruth Langsford sparked almost 4,000 comments on the This Morning Facebook page.

Daytime viewers were left horrified as to why an exotic dancer and stripper more suited to a late night post-watershed show was a guest on the pre-lunchtime magazine show - with the possibility of children watching.

Originally from Minneapolis, 35-year-old Chelsea had her breasts enlarged by means of a now illegal procedure in which polypropylene string was implanted into each breast.

The material irritates the breast lining, creating a serum which enlarges the breasts, a process which could continue indefinitely.

Chelsea has added she would eventually have her breasts reduced and the polypropylene removed.

But at present they are still growing at a rate of one inch a month.

Chelsea explained to a shocked Ruth and Phillip: 'Most of the other girls who have had this procedure have stopped at some point so I’m just waiting for that to happen.'

Well guys what you really want is an eye full of this lot
I know you lot so well

 Chelsea Charms Ladies and Gents

 Smile, Phillip! Schofield looks slightly happy don't you think? 

 Such a sweet smile

  Holy water melons yikes way more than a mouthful

The Royal mad hatter makes a right royal mess

I now know what Princess Beatrice's hat reminds me of..........
Putting it delicately a female reproductive organ

Hows that for making a right royal cock up

Back home in Empangeni - Zululand a barbaric hanging

Empangeni - A northern KwaZulu-Natal businesswoman, her two sons and another woman were found hanged outside the front door of their third floor Empangeni flat on Saturday morning.

The bodies were found when a neighbour, living on the same floor, was leaving for work.

“It was about 06:45 when I found the bodies. I walked out my door and saw something hanging and without realising they were bodies, walked up to them.

“The shock still hasn’t set in,” said the neighbour, who asked not be named.

Hundreds of people gathered outside the building, on the corner of Union and Smith streets, with the hanging bodies being visible from the road until the police cordoned off the area and put up a screen.

Police spokesperson Captain Mbongeni Mdlalose said the police are investigating four counts of murder.

“There is a suspicion of foul play. The bodies will need to be inspected so that we can ascertain the time and cause of death,” said Mdlalose.

He said there were no signs that robbery could be a motive.

The deceased, the mother Zandile Zungu,46, her sons Mthokozisi, 24 and 19-year-old Zama, as well as a friend or relative, Soneli Mtshali, 32, all ran a catering business next to the block of flats.

With one flat between the neighbour and the Zungu family, the neighbour said neither he nor his wife heard any form of a struggle.

“There is a tavern across the road and on a Friday night it is exceptionally noisy. They were good, pleasant people.

"Every Tuesday, except this past Tuesday, they held a church meeting in their flat,” said the neighbour.

The sons, Mthokozisi, a part-time lifeguard, and Zama, who finished high school in 2010, were both studying.

uMhlathuze Municipality chief sport and recreation officer Shakir Hiraman, said Mthokozisi was “a good, decent person”.

“He had been working as a lifeguard for us during the busy seasons for the last three years.

“He was a good lifeguard and competent in the pool and ocean,” said Hiraman

Original Link http://www.news24.com/Four-found-hanged-on-doorstep-20110515

Thursday, May 12, 2011

We want jobs and not Pennies - only in South Africa

Ah guys see what happens when you burn down your schools, and you can’t spell
Ah thats just classic South African

Ask Emma about private time

I suppose this applies to those do it yourself enthusiasts

Knock knock who's there? ---- Master
Master who?----Masturbates 

One of the biggest Police Busts in history

Well that is huge!!!

What in hell did you think I was talking about,
You should know me by now!

Lizzy Jagger poses for Playboy

Wearing just a pair of thigh-high boots and bunny ears, Lizzy Jagger smiles seductively into the camera.

She is completely nude, with only her long hair to preserve her modesty in her sizzling photoshoot for Playboy magazine.

And the shoot itself is quite a feat, because despite her father’s hellraising reputation and her mother being a former cover girl, Miss Jagger was once banned from being in the magazine.

In the nude: Lizzy poses completely naked save for a pair of furry bunny ears, a pair of thigh-high boots and her long locks to preserve her modesty

But now Sir Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall have given their grudging approval as their eldest daughter reveals (almost) all in a nude photoshoot.

Rolling Stone Sir Mick – notorious for his own rock’n’roll lifestyle – stopped his daughter from appearing in the magazine six years ago.

And although he has now changed his tune, it remains to be seen how happy he will be that the 27-year-old is on the front of the June edition, wearing only a sarong, under the somewhat seedy headline: ‘Satisfaction: Lizzy Jagger, between the sheets with Mick’s daughter.’

The cover also uses the Stones’s trademark red lips logo.

Inside, Miss Jagger does, however, preserve some dignity by being seen only topless.

And she can console herself that her appearance is unlikely to be as controversial as when another Jagger daughter stripped off for the camera.

Bunny girl: Lizzy Jagger in a sheer sarong on the cover of the June edition of Playboy magazine

Younger sister Georgia May, 19, who has won lucrative contracts with Versace and Rimmel, stunned the fashion world by posing topless to advertise U.S. jeans company Hudson when she was just 17 – and then doing it again in subsequent campaigns.

Lizzy admitted that her father had barred her from being in Playboy in 2005, when she was 21.

However, she tells the publication, which is out next Tuesday, that he and her mother – who appeared on the magazine’s cover herself in 1985 – had eventually conceded.

‘They understood that when you don’t know when you’re going to have kids, it’s nice to have wonderful pictures of your 20-something self,’ she said.

Original Post http://www.dailymail.co.uk/lizabeth-Jagger-poses-nude-Playboy

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Church boards gone wrong

Sometimes people don't think straight!






Don't shoot me these are real sign boards not my fault
 your mind is twisted......

45 Insights into the art of life by Regina Brett

Written by Regina Brett, in her book "God never blinks "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 50 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Doctor Dave is a disturbed soul


Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients

And felt guilty all day long. No matter how much

He tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt

And sense of betrayal were overwhelming.

But every now and then he'd hear an internal

Reassuring voice in his head that said:

"Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first

Medical practitioner to sleep with one of their

Patients and you won't be the last.

And you're single. Just let it go."

But invariably another voice in his head

Would bring him back to reality.

Whispering......

Dave..........

Dave........

Dave .........

Dave.........

..........you're a f*cking vet.

The Terminator terminates his 25 year marriage

I will be back "I think not"

Former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife of 25 years, Maria Shriver, announced on Monday that they are separating.

The statement, issued by a spokesperson for Schwarzenegger, said the two were working on the future of their relationship while living apart and would continue to parent their four children together.

"This has been a time of great personal and professional transition for each of us," the two said in a prepared statement. "After a great deal of thought, reflection, discussion, and prayer, we came to this decision together."

Schwarzenegger, a Republican, finished his seven-year run as governor in January and has been travelling the speech circuit and pursuing various entertainment projects.

OK so that was ever so professional!  I wonder who was buggering around him or her or was it both?

My favourite things the news and tittys together on e.tv

ETV pushes the limits with the naked news
on late night Saturdays

The staff of late Night News

Naked News is an international news programme that shows after the late night movie at 10pm, and features female presenters who strip during the bulletin. Guess who will be watching the news more avidly

Naked News producer Craig Kelly said it was up to the presenters to decide whether the show was degrading or not. E.tv told SABC the programme was not pornography and complied with Broadcasting Complaints Commission standards. The commission was however investigating complaints received by viewers.

Of course the programme is not without controversy from every prude and religious organization in South Africa who all say it is an afront to womans rights or some such bull

Naked news describes itself as “the programme with nothing to hide”. And they mean that quite literally. Vass stated on Tuesday that: “Art, entertainment, film news, food and exercise are some of the topics that the programme covers,” he added that “The programme has been scheduled for the next 11 Fridays. It has an 18N-rating and no sex scenes will be displayed.” I’m a little concerned about the naked exercise section of the show that could cause my blood pressure to peak out Heehee

You got to love Fred Flinstone

Speaking of rough riders!!!!!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Margarita Ice Cream a little bit of heaven

Ingredients

125ml/4fl oz lime juice

2 tbsp tequila

3 tbsp orange liqueur or triple sec

150g/5½oz icing sugar

500ml/17fl oz double cream

Preparation method

1.Pour the lime juice, tequila and orange liqueur or triple sec into a bowl and stir in the icing sugar until it dissolves.

2.Add the cream and whisk until the mixture is thick and smooth, but not stiff.

3.Spoon into an airtight container and place into the freezer to freeze overnight. This ice cream doesn't need to be taken out to soften before serving, as it won't freeze too hard and melts quickly.

4. Grate a little lemon rind on top and serve in small cocktail glasses

Leopard takes mercy on thieving little rat

It's not so much snatching victory from the jaws of defeat as dinner from the jaws of danger. But even the imposing presence of an adult leopard at feeding time is not enough to get between plucky young Rattus Norvegicus (better known as the brown rat) and a free meal.

This extraordinary series of images were captured by photography student Casey Gutteridge, as he trained his camera on the leopard for a course project.

 The little rat - thought to be only two to three months old - was spotted scampering into the leopard's enclosure shortly after feeding time at the Santago Rare Leopard Project, in Hertfordshire.

So intent was the plucky rodent on its mission to snatch a tasty snack, that it seemed not to notice that its path was taking it within a whisker's breadth of 12-year-old Sheena.

Clutching a corner of raw meat with its tiny paws, the rat busily tucked in, until it sensed one of those whiskers moving in.

Sheena, bemused by the interloper coming between her and the remains of dinner, padded over on paws big enough to wreak vengeance with a single swipe.

But rather than giving the thief at very least the hearty set down it deserved, she gingerly lowered her nose for an exploratory sniff.

Rattus paused, lifted its dainty pink claws in submission, then - obviously deciding on a nothing-ventured-nothing-gained approach - continued to tuck in.

And after another tentative investigation, Sheena gave the leopard equivalent of a shrug and turned away.


Mr Gutteridge, 19, from Potters Bar, Hertfordshire, thought the rodent was a mouse.

Mr Gutteridge said: 'I have no idea where it came from - he just appeared in the enclosure after the keeper had dropped in the meat for the leopard.

'He didn't take any notice of the leopard, just went straight over to the meat and started feeding himself.

'But the leopard was pretty surprised - she bent down and sniffed at it and flinched a bit like she was scared.

'It was amazing, even the keeper who had thrown the meat into the enclosure was shocked - he said he'd never seen anything like it before.'

An expert at the Wildlife Trust said the creature was in fact a young and 'inexperienced rat', identifiable by its big paws and ears and more importantly its bald, scaly tail with a thick base.

Leopard project owner Jackie James added: 'My son threw meat in for the photographers and it just appeared. Sheena batted it away but it just came back. The determined little thing took no notice and just carried on.'